Yearning a child

[roosi]

Is there a noticable mental change in attitude when you get older that makes you yearn for a child more, or is it all in your head? Recently (I have always been kind of maternal) I have been having constant dreams about being/becoming pregnant - these have happened throughout my life from time to time. I am now approaching 30 and these feelings r more vivid/sway stronger etc every child in the street is "cute" - always has been far moreso recently, and my dreams becoming more frequent. Is this proven to be to do with my biological clock, or is it just a phase that (like b4) I will "grow" out of / away from?

I haven't even mentioned this to Mr Roosi as we are not in a financially viable position just now to even be comtemplating having a child, and I am still fairly ambitious. And we are having fun just the 2 of us, and to be frank we are enjoying it too much to think about it just yet although this may sounds selfish, although I am having these "secret thoughts" as I haven't told a soul so far.

My mum also keeps going on at me about havin kids, but never, funilly enough, talks to Mr Roosi in this way - "oh I will be too old / in my zimmer to enjoy my grandkids when you finally get round to havin", "OCH you know I am jokin".....and this type of thing although I know it's tongue in cheek.
"There was never a right or wrong time for me and your dad to have children you know, we didn't even think twice about it" this type of thing (AYE 30 yrs ago mum). This is being said as I have told her that we will hopefully be able to choose when we are a) financially secure enough, and b)ready to have a child. I know this doesn't always work out, and we may not, but I like having this choice and surely this is mine to make.

Anyone else been through these thoughts, and also these types of comments? If I told my partner about what she says and how often he would fleeeeeee. Seriously fleeee - it's our choice blah blah blah which I

[roosi]

Sorry - more to go..........think is right enough, we should be able to decide in today's climate (so many more choices etc), and although I am "desperate" to concieve judging by my dreams and thought processes, part of me tells me that we can wait another couple of yrs till we can REALLY afford it etc........

Any suggestions - GREAT!

[redcrx]

if you wait until you think you can afford children itll never happen, theres always something that your money goes on.

Mr CRX and i hadnt been together long when we decided we wanted to try for a child after 2 years. It was decided. Then 3 months after meeting we found out the choice had been taken away and we were expecting.
4 years on and we now have 2 children and why we ever really worried about money i dint know.
a baby costs as much or as little as you want it to. The only big expense and life change is giving up work of getting childcare.

id say tell your partner youre starting to think about it and go through the finances now, get yourself ready for the change as and when it happens

[roosi]

Thanks Redcrx, appreciate your view. We are slightly different in that we have only just decided that we indeed want to EVENTUALLY have kids (after 10 yrs together), and we have just bought a new car, I have been prmoted etc etc etc. We are so happy, I don't think we are actually "ready" in any sense of the word, and it certainly won't make me happier right now. I actually think I would feel like I had missed out if I were to get preg. Although I don't obviously know for sure right now what I want. Hence the post.

I just don't understand the reasoning behind all these REALLY strong feelings I am getting, I could cry at times as I really feel very very broody, although I am confused as I don't feel it's thr right time for either os us, hence the reason I haven't mentioned to Mr Roosi......

Hope this is clearer - so my original post wasn't too clear..

Thanks again!

[roosi]

And before you ask, yes I am certain Mr Roosi is my soulmate and we are thick as thieves right now, although he has just recently gone self employed too which makes things even more difficult as the company may not work, which would leave us in even more debt - debt to be cleared in a couple of yrs, which we said would be the "right time" for us to begin trying.........Just these thoughts and dreams eh? Mental........Is this my biological clock or just my body telling me it's "ready"???? Or just me reading too much into it and should try and forget until the "right time" as I hear from everyone around "comes along"?

[redcrx]

i got very broody with Mr CRX when we first met and yet hadnt with any other boyfriend since my husband and i split.
Maybe it is something to do with your body telling you you are ready and that time is right.
Of course, youve got a few years to decide. I had my first at nearly 33 years of age

[roosi]

Sounds great to me! Although I am really wound up with these feeling of a void / broodiness / think about it constantly even here at work, am thinking about babies. This can't be just a phase, and if it is I would be very interested to see if you or anyone else has experienced this type of thing, and if it has just passed, or if I need to take the bull by the horns as it were, and break the FABULOUS news to my other half?! As I certainly (if this is it) wouldn't want to miss it either, and find that the feelings fade and I then end up not wanting at all! lol THAT'D BE MY LUCK!!!

[ladyalex]

There is never a right time financially to have a baby. You never have enough money or a good enough job to be able to have a child. Either there's an accident or you decide that you want a family more than you want anything else in life.
It sounds as though part of you feels this way, part of you doesn't. Guess you have to wait until you agree with yourself, if you see what I mean.
A final thought.....don't count on it that you will be able to conceive as soon as you decide you want to, it can take a long time or require help.

[Ice.Maiden]

I agree with all of the above. When you stop putting ambition and the money factor before your desire to have children - THEN you'll know the time's right. Perhaps you're reaching that point - or perhaps you're not, and it's just your biological clock ticking away. You're still young enough to wait a few more years, if that's what you really think's best, but as ladyalex said, many couples face conception problems, and if there WAS to be that unfortunate problem, it can take a long time to sort out. I wish you the best of luck though.