Sexuality

[Stud]

I am a single 18 yr old guy just finished with a girl but I am suddenly attracted towards guys. I fantasise about being with them and having sex. Am I gay or just going thru a phase?

[Yinzer]

You may just be curious. When I was around 16 I thought I was a lesbian/bisexual because I could totally be attracted to a girl and have some fantasies. I have always been VERY picky about guys so I interpereted both of these things to mean I was gay. I kissed a few girls, "fooled around" with a few, but when I was 18 it came down to putting my hands down a girl's pants I realized that maybe I can just appreciate a hot chick but I definitely am not gay! Then of course that's just me and maybe you are going through a phase or maybe you are some degree of gay. Either way that doesn't make you a bad person. You'll still be able to make friends and get laid/fall in love. And some of the most creative, interesting and charismatic people I knew were gay. Another thing to consider is how things ended with this other girl. You may be retaliating in a way, though this is less likely. Plus, some of those guys can be pretty darn good-looking!!!

[Stud]

I wuld rather be dead than turn out to be gay but i want sex with a guy so bad and to dress like a girl once.

[zgma]

Stud, why don't you try it and see how it feels to you. I also was actively bisexual for a while - messed around with a few girls, got into some relationships that never really steamed up, and realized that I like girls, but I *really* like guys. Then I got into a good relationship (with a guy) and haven't thought much about girls since. And be kind to yourself - let go of the stereotype or taboo or whatever about being gay. Nuthin wrong with it. Being afraid of being gay will just cause you misery and shame; it won't keep you from wanting guys if that's how it turns out. Much better to see if that's you, and if so, celebrate it!

[Hippy]

It might just be curiosity. I think the more important issue you need to think about is why you would, "rather be dead than turn out to be gay". Why would being gay be so utterly terrifying for you? I suggest that you have either never thought the issue through, or have collected some very biassed and untrue thoughts from others.

I think that if you were gay then you would know by age 18, even if at the surface you denied it or wished it otherwise.

There are very few people who are 100% Heterosexual or 100% Gay. We all occupy some place on the spectrum of sexuality. We obey the conventions of our society and form deep and meaningful relationships with people of both sexes and some of us have sexual relationships with both sexes, and some do not, confining their sexual activity to one sex or the other. The secret is to be happy with your sexuality and rejoice in the variety and fun that it can offer. At age 18 (or any age, really) you do not have to "decide" anything and cut off your options for the rest of your life. Have fun, be safe, and for goodness sake don't let guilt and self-opression spoil it all.

[bernardo]

It sounds as if you are bisexual. You should just wait and see which gender you find more attractive more often. But if you are gay, it's nothing to worry about or be ashamed about. I have known that I was gay since the age of 14, and I wouldn't want it any other way because it's what I'm used to. I am happy to be able to appreciate the attractiveness of men's bodies.

If a football player suddenly realised that he was getting interested in ballet, or if a violinist suddenly wanted to be a rock guitarist, it would not necessarily be anything to worry about.

In the end, it doesn't even matter whether it's a phase, or whether you are gay or bisexual or straight. Just make friends with the people you are comfortable with. If anybody else thinks that there is anything wrong with you being gay, or bisexual, or whatever, then that's their problem, not yours.

[christina801]

This may sound a little childish, but whatever thats me and its how I communicate. When I was little I thought that I was gay because I was never attracted to men like Tom Cruise, you know the typical hollywood male. I found girls to be very attractive, so I was like "I think I'm gay." Then I realized that I wasnt gay and that I was just attracted to black or hispanic men. To me it just sounds like your curious, but even if you are gay dont be ashamed the ones who should be ashamed are the ones who cant look beyond it. Because, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. My brother in law is ashamed of being gay to the point he wont tell anyone in the family or close to the family. I think its stupid because for one we all know hes gay, but when he meets some one special, he'll miss out on introducing him and leading a normal relationship because he's ashamed.

[bb0i]

well this type of question is only u and u can find out alone,,, I am a gay male,,, all i have to say is,,, u have to ask yourself these questions,,, can u see yourself with another guy? can u fall in love with another guy? and also u have to experiment to find out those answers....... and one quote i have to say NEVER LEAVE THE ONE U LOVE FOR THE ONE YOU LIKE.BECAUSE THE ONE U LIKE WILL LEAVE U FOR THE ONE THEY LOVE.

[Gabrielkb200]

u are certainly gay. welcome to the club