do i have a right to be peeved?

[bubbles4920]

a neighbour/friend of mine asked me to look after her dog , feeding and walking it. it means an overnight stint as her hubby will be away tues night into wed morning, she said for 2 days originally but now it seems to have turned into 4 days! when i asked her when she was going away she said tues- wed would be when her hubby is away so i would need to do the night stint with the dog but then she said it would just be walking the dog once the thurs and fri ie 4 days! like an idiot i didnt say anything, she is a lovely person and dont think she is taking advantage on purpose but its not what she originally said. i dont want to fall out with her but 4 days is alot and even if i walk the dog once a day its twice really as the dog is old and cant be left for so long. what can i say though so i dont have to do thurs and fri, i feel tied as though i cant go anywhere for the day! or am i just being mean??

[shaking]

you are not being mean, this has happened to me and it is very difficult to say no. I have been tied many times with this problem, tell her you have other arrangements for thursday and friday and she must make other arrangements.

[ethandron]

try and be gently honest with her. tell her you think there's been a misunderstanding, that you thought it was only for 2 days, but from what she's saying you think she now means 4 and that unfortunately you can't do 4 days due to prior committments. i can understand that you don't want to cause offence, but you have an absolute right to say no without feeling guilty.

[bubbles4920]

i do want to say i have other arrangements but she knows im around during the day normally. i am the only one she knows well enough round here and my movements, feel like im in a hole i cant get out of!! also dont think i could say i have something planned so far in advance, ie first week of aug. she knows i dont go anywhere in particular.

[Jafi]

All you need to say to your neighbour is that you thought it was only for 2 days. You don't need to give her any explanations as to why.

Tell her your happy to do it for the 2 days arranged but she'll have to get someone else for the other days.

[lajohn]

I agree with Jafi. If you don't put a stop to this sort of abuse now, she will do it again. Speaking up will put her in her place and make her learn to have respect for you and the friendship between you two. Remember, whatsoever you say to her, say it calmly.

[ethandron]

actually, having slept on it, i have to agree with jafi and lajohn too. you really don't have to make up excuses or give any explanation, and if your neighbour/friend has any sensitivity, and is as lovely as you say, she will be fine.
what's that old saying - never apologise and never explain. for your own peace of mind though, i'd speak to her sooner rather than later and get it over with.

[bubbles4920]

still struggling to find the right time though suppose no time is the right time! wish me luck!

[lajohn]

bubbles4920 - are you scared to approach your neighbour because she's kind to you and gives you stuff so you feel obligated to her?

[bubbles4920]

no not at all lajohn, she doesnt give me anything. its just that im her only good friend and i dont want to let her down. she also wants to see me all the time which has been driving me mad, i like time on my own. suppose ive got myself into a hole, as other Abers have said, once you start something ie looking after her dog, you set a precedence. i just didnt realise it would happen so much as her hubby works away and for so long (this time!) they are going to mexico for a week or 5 days in october, im dreading being asked!!!