help with a delicate matter..

[goodgirl]

can anyone advise a first-timer. how to have painfree anal sex? Sorry if anyone is offended but this should not remain a taboo subject.

[MrsCheeks]

I know its sort of palming you off onto another message board, BUT iVillage have a message board "lets talk about sex" and this question frequently pops up. Everyone posting there is very nice, and the advice given is very well put. http://messageboards.ivillage.co.uk/iv-ukrlsex?redirCnt=1 A brief synopsis of what the advise is - plenty of lubrication and to RELAX!! Not having tried this myself I can't give personal advice other than to take a look at the board, and maybe join in the conversations there. Hope this helps, xxxx

[stoo_pid]

Relax & go at your own pace. Personally I would recommend starting small with sex toys and then gradually & *gently* work your way up. (No pun intended :-)

[smudge]

I know your user name is 'goodgirl' but are you a female? Are you being pressured into doing this? If so, don't be. You have every right to say no! Unless of course you are willing, or indeed a male venturing into his first sexual encounter.

[Philtaz]

Take it very slowly with someone you trust implicitly, with lots of lubricant and a condom.

[goodgirl]

I assure you, I'm all woman. Been with my boyf. for ages, no pressure from him I just want to try something new and know some guys really like this. Thanks for advice. Cant help thinking it will still hurt like hell..

[Oor Wullie]

Like everyone says. Lots of lubrication, relaxation and patience. Follow those rules and it shouldn't hurt. The reason I know is because when we were married 32 years ago the Mrs and I experimented. Past it all now sadly.

[Yinzer]

Willd423, I'm sorry to hear that. Perhaps a bit of rekindling it due? To answer the question A bottle of lube, a towel or kleenex to wipe up any mess (some people do an at home enema) and about two hours and a ton of patience. Don't mean to be so vulgar, but I don't see any other way around this: your boyfriend is probably a bit smaller than your biggest piece of poo, so as long as you ease into it WITH TONS OF LUBE you should adjust rather easily. The only problem I had with my husband was that I felt like I had to go and I was afraid to accidentally do it on him! Also I would suggest using a condom as it keeps everything nice and tidy, and helps prevent you getting a hemmohroid. Go slow and don't feel obligated to follow all the way through if you really don't like it. Good luck!

[Doolallygirl]

Ok I don't really want to sound vile but the question alone is quite gross! My boyfriend "warms me up" if you like by using a finger first? Rather messy but he wants to do it so much so he says he doesn't mind. Lots of KY will help.

[Kaos24]

I think everyone has the same fears for their first time. Our greatest fears are stemmed from our lack of knowledge to any circumstance and you will find through research that all fears can be deminished. I was scared stupid for my first anal encounter. I was a little pressured into it so it is good that your bf is not pressuring you. I am a 24 yr old male from australia and have been bi for as long as I can remember. I have wife of three years and she was totally against it at the start but really enjoyed it later. I would have to say that you should only start with fingers, saliva/lube and do not push to hard. My example is like pregnacy, your muscles have to be trained to over flex.If you try to expand your musles too fast and hard they will rip and tear. it will not happen straight away. so by easing finger in and out and gradually go in further each time you will find that once your bf inserts his penis your muscles will be able to expand around his penis without causing you intence pain. and sex juices will keep you lubed up. I enjoy anal as we all know the males g-spot is in his anis. There is still much feeling for females if you tickle your Perinium (Between your anis and virginia). This perinium is great to prolong ejactulation as well in men. (good tip for the girls with guys that only go for a minute or two) :-) So do not be scared but do not rush. and tell him excactly your feelingthrough the entire time.