A bloke split up from his girlfriend....... (continued)

[Leight0n]

How would you like a Pina Colada?'

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.'

No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?'

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?' She
stares into his eyes ..

He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes.....

'F*ck me, don't say you've got Sky Sports as well?'

[kjc]

yeeesss....get it now....but still not all that funny....sorry.

[dave2297]

Old one.....but beautifully crafted :)

Particularly clever is the fact that her exquisite bungalow had a bathroom upstairs

Keep 'em coming!!

[Postdog]

Yawwnnnnn!!

Hardly worth the effort - I don't mean you writing it, I mean me reading it.

[Leight0n]

Oh well look at that. Another sad individual who has nothing better do other than tell people what they don't like.

Thanks for your comment.

Enjoy your depressing life.

[pjgriffo]

Reminds me of the man stranded on the desert island next to that one, 3 years and saw nobody. Beautiful woman swam ashore from a shipwreck one day, dressed in a sleek diving suit.
Would you like a drink , she said and with that opened a pocket on the left breast and took out a bottle of guinness and a glass. A few hours later she said would you like a smoke, opened a hidden pocket in the right breast and took out a pack of cigarettes and a box of matches.
A little later, seductively unzipping her wetsuit from the top down she said " I'm sure there's something else you are missing terribly during your 3 years here alone" as she sidled up closer to him. F**k me he said, don't tell me you have a set of golf clubs in there as well.