AAAGHH! Night time bed wetting hell!

[tigwig]

Please any advice would be gratefully received! I have been attempting to night time train my 4yr old daughter for nearly a week now and its going from bad to worse. The 1st few nights she was doing a wee before we went to bed then only one in the night whilst asleep which wasn't too bad. Now she is just weeing all the time!! There must be around 3 wees and although I'm using the bed mats her quilt is getting wet too (good job I've got a waterproof cover) I had a reward thing going on where she gets to put 20p in a money box for every time she goes on the potty or toilet and she would get a �1 for a dry night to choose a toy from the �1 shop. She does get excited about this but cannot stay dry. I don't know what to do for best. The bed mats are �4.30 a pack so if she uses 2 a night thats �8.60 a week! I can't afford to keep shelling that out. I don't really want to go back to pull ups especially at her age but she was crying this morning after she knew what she'd done. Do I forget about it for now and try in a few months time or stick with it? The only thing with not giving up is she could carry on doing this for the next year or so and I can't!! As a child I can remember wetting the bed purposely cos I was too lazy to use the toilet so it seems she is following what I did!! If I stop now though when will she ever learn?

[andrea81]

First thing, you can buy waterproof bed covers that are reusable, they are wipe-able and you only need to buy about 2.

I personally wouldn't do a reward chart as it gives her the feeling of failure when she doesn't get it right.

I also wonder if she has an infection of sorts, which could mean that holding her bladder is difficult!

How is she in the day? Does she hold it for long or go often? she shouldn't hold it for long in day as she need to get used to the feeling that she needs a wee, even if its a small one!

Maybe going to your GP will be of use too, just to rule out any medical reasons. x

[lawsanass]

Ime no expert, but I do have 4 kids, 2 boys and 2 girls. (22, 18, 16 and 10) I would give up for now and leave it for a few weeks, shes not ready and obviously sleeps heavily. There is an argument against 'lifting' during the night as children dont generally wake up fully and therefore they are weeing in their sleep. i.e if you ask them in the morning if they remember you taking them to the loo the chances are they wont. Its silly for you both to get upset. It might help if during the day you get her to hold on to her wee as long as possible, therefore stretching her bladder to hold a larger quantity, and not to drink an hour or 2 before bedtime. My eldest wet at night until he was 7. Boys, as a rule take longer as they have smaller bladders than girls. Hope this helps

[ethanryan]

hi tig wig, i have two boys aged 2 and 3. the 3 year old is finally dry day and night. please dont give up now you have started as you will just confuse her, i made this mistake at first. it took my son 2 weeks to become fully dry at night.
all i did was give hima drink about an hour before he went to bed then made him go the toilet before he went up. i would take his potty in his room with him. when i went to bed i would wake him up, not just lift him out but fully wake him and take him to the toilet downstairs. he would then do a wee and i would put him back to bed. after 4 days of doing this i left his potty in his room telling him to use it if needed. he then started waking up and calling me telling me he needed a wee. ok sometimes if i didnt get there quick enough he had akready done it but he still had praise as he woke up and told me after a week he was getting out of bed and sitting on the potty himself then getting back into bed. after 2 weeks he was sleeping straight through with a dry bed. i know alot of people say dont wake them up but it got my son into a routine of getting up to gothe toilet and going back to bed. it worked for me

also as andrea has said, use the waterproof mattress covers that go on top of there mattress u only have to change the sheet then and they are alot cheaper

[myselfness]

if she is crying and getting upset it cant be out of lazyness. My mam assumed it was that with me, but i actually had a bladder problem which made me unable to stay dry all night til i was about 13 (Very embarassing!)

the other thing you can try getting her to do during the day is stopping her wee half way through for a few seconds, it tightens the muscles

[naflharrison]

i would definately leave it for a while as she sounds like she just isnt getting the sensation enough to wake her up ie she isnt ready. my daughter seemed to take ages to potty train but once we mastered the daytime she stayed in nappy pants for a good few mths then we went to shops to buy some 'special' bedtime pants that had to stay dry! they were only ordinary pants with dora on them but she realised the signifigance of it all and i think she only had one nighttime accident. she was 5 yesterday and that was when she was about 3 r so. am now debating whether the time is really right to potty train my son who is 31mths. oh the joys!

[annie0000]

I wouldn't worry about it yet - I am only now starting to get concerned as my boys are now 8 and 7 tomorrow and are only dry if i lift them during the night and even not always dry then. But they are getting to the age of cub camp and sleepovers and I can't rely on them to be dry in someone elses house and dont want them to have to wear pyjama pants for the embarrasment. My next stop is the GP. I would give it a while, then try again.

[tigwig]

thanks for the answers. I spoke to the health visitor today and she said to stop it completely for 6 months because she obviously isn't ready. She said until her brain signals she needs to wee and wakes up before she wees she cannot learn. She reassured me that some children do take alot longer than others so its back in pull ups tonight!!

[Le Chat]

My sister's daughter is 7 and still wears a pull up at night. There is nothing wrong with her, she just doesn't wake up to wee. She will do one day though...and until that day it's not worth worrying about. I mean, how many adults still wear a pull up?

[pidget]

I have 3 children age 9,8 and 6 and 1/2. The older 2 were dry at night really quickly but the youngest still soaks a pull up nightly, was going to speak to health visitor but a friend told me that until the child reaches 8 it is not seen to be a problem. Like you I am fed up buying pull ups and washing sheets but I guess we will carry on for a bit longer! Good luck.x

[babybow]

obviously you and your little girl are finding this stressfull i would suggest you hold off for a while and carry on with the pull ups . maybe try again in a few months time and reward her for dry nights but DO NOT tell her off for any accidents that she may have.

[cockroach]

mine soon to be 6 on friday...still wears pull ups...We dqance & cheer when she has a dry night...I have tried all the takeing to the loo...not giving drinks...But when you child is crying saying I'm thirsty...Thirst come 1st IMO. I beleive it will just happen...It did for about 4 months a year ago...just sleeps so heavily.

[vashnanarada]

My 4 year old was doing really well going from 1 or 2 dry nights in a week to 1 or 2 wet nights then she went a whole month with just the odd accident. Then however she began to wet the bed every night and i decided (with a heavy heart ) to put her back into pull ups.

I didn't have a problem with my elder child but they are all different and obviously don't read the same parenting books we do!!!