Whats the worst that can be forgiven?

[torn-in-two]

I was recently at a friend of the familys wedding, And as i sat there watching how happy they wore and just out of a relationship recently...

I wonderered... What has been the worst thing your partner has done on you or to you that you have forgiven them for and stayed with them after it?
And why did you forgive them in the first place?
And was it hard to forgive?

Torn-in-two

x.x.x.x

[4getmenot]

he's not done anything that bad touch wood. We've had about 1 minor tiff and that was only him when he went away coz he was missing me. I know I couldnt forgive anyone for cheating, not now, I have done in the past and its only come back to bite me on the bum

[kjc]

I wouldn't tell anyone on here what is was anyway. It would be a private thing between the two of you, surely.

[Bbbananas]

My ex, over a period of 13 years, did the following things, ranging from slightly bad to downright awful... i stayed with him for the kids' sake until sense prevailed:

- threw a pressure cooker weight at my head (it missed)
- threw a remote control at my head (it didn't)
- tried to strangle me
- ran me off the road with his 4x4 into a ditch
- stabbed me with a fork in the foot
- 'just happened' to burn my foot with a cigarette butt
- knee'd me in the ribs (when he was "dreaming")
- pushed me into a washing basket, bruising ribs
- made 'friends' with the local prossie (though of course she did not work where she lived, it was "platonic"..!!)
- let me me pushed about by two male 'swingers' who were made that I didn't want to go along with their plan
- punched me in the mouth, splitting my lip.

The punch was the straw that broke the camel's back & involved the police & the courts. I had him back a year later.
Learned his lesson, mourned his loss - but too late. I finally walked away for good. I still love him & know he's not a bad man, just a man who was intermittently capable of doing bad things. Alcohol played a prominent part, so did money & outside influences. Sounds pathetic I know. I am not making excuses for his behaviour, but things are not always black & white - they are many shades of grey. However, I will NEVER ever again put up with anything like that from anyone. (If) you live.. you learn... eventually.

[Bbbananas]

whoops - that stopped that one in its tracks.
Didn't mean to be too serious, honestly.
Forgiveness is easy, but it's the forgetting that's hard.

Carry on...

[torn-in-two]

Wel its fine, I like to see that some people are taking this question serious... Thanks for the serious replys!

x.x.x.x

[Bbbananas]

I joke around with a lot of my posts around here; life's too short to be too serious. But there are some things I do take seriously - & it was obvious your question was in all seriousness - hence the (rather longwinded!) reply.

Like I said; forgiving I find to be the easy bit, it's the forgetting that comes harder. But life is also too short for grudges, regrets & brooding on bad things - I'm still in one piece & we all learn things from life experiences, whether good or bad. xx

[MustangLady]

My BF had a year long affair which I eventually found out about from his mum. We lived in different towns and had been going steady for 3 yrs, but for the last of those years he actually moved in with his parents neighbour and lived as man&wife along with her 3 kids. I knew nothing as he did an excellent job of covering it up .. he used to pick me up whenever we went out to 'save my petrol coming over his way', he'd have his phone on silent so as not to disturb my family when he was over, we'd got outside of the area whenever we went out together, he worked shift hours so it was easy for him to make excuses when he could and couldn't come over to see me. He told his family and friends that we'd split up already but i was 'stalking him' hence i kept calling him and if we were ever seen together, he was just 'being nice'. I found all this out in a chance meeting with his mum one day, when she asked how i'd been and that she was sorry me and her son weren't together anymore. The conversation went on and hence i found it all out. I had a really big show-down with him and his 'new' girlfriend, but she was as much in the dark as i was... she was being given the same excuses and reasons why he couldn't always be 'home'. He basically shared his time btwn the two of us. Eventually after 6 months of 'being stalked' that he talked me round and we got back together, yes just me and him! That was 18 yrs ago and we only just split up again 3 mnths back as we genuinely drifted apart but are still mates.

[zzxxee]

i think once the trust has gone you can say you forgive them but you never truly do

[viali]

my partner got pregnant by the babysitter and we allready had 3 children .i forgave her and attended the birth,brought harry up with the others for 4 years untill she went off again,least i tried .and can hold my head up.some people just find it easy to take advantage of a kind nature,there loss