Feeling lonely

[lil123]

Hi
I was married for a long time and got married very young. I have been divorced nearly 2 years and have had few relationships that haven't lasted long for various reasons. I am trying with the help of therapy to change lots of things in my life and the main one is the type of men I seem to attract.
I had a very nasty experience a few weeks ago with someone and it gave me the wake up call I needed.
Trouble is I get a over whelming feeling of being on my own which I know is the reason I go with these type of men who just seem to use me.
I am very independent and not bad looking with a good figure as I take care of myself. I alos have a small child to think about which he comes first no matter what.
I was just wondering what other people had done when they where single and had felt like this.
counselling is really helping as I know why I do it now but I just feel a bit stuck at the moment.
Any advice greatly appreciated

[sara3]

hi lil,

I'm also on my own, and for a lot longer than you. I'm in pretty good shape and have only had "mini" relationships in the last few years. I haven't had nasty experiences but lots of disappointments and have been made a fool of once too often.

if someone comes into your life, try to think about how you may feel in a few weeks or months. are you looking for a short-term fix? men pick up on who is vulnerable and can take advantage of the situation.

I think you should concentrate on yourself and your child, be happy with who you are and fill your life with your family and friends. once your confidence is up you'll attract the more stable type who will really like you for who you are. it gets lonely sometimes but trying to see something in a man that you want to be there... but really isn't.. just isn't going to be fulfilling.

good luck and be happy :o)

[lil123]

Thanks alot sara3 that is very good advice x

[lil75]

Hi Lil, I have to agree with Sara, I was on my own with 2 children and I used to think, who is going to want me, and I think because of that I lowered my standards big time. I didnt realise how wrong I was in thinking that!!! Just be patient and give yourself time, enjoy the company of your child, your family and friends, and dont do what I did and lower your standards, because your worth everything you think you are!!! x

[MustangLady]

Hi Lil123, sorry to hear you are feeling low sometimes... but there is so much out there for you..... if you want to meet new people, take up a hobby, attend classes or adult education, or even take up interests within your childs school which might help you get to know others with children the same age. Eventually you will meet the right person, but be patience and don't try to 'make it happen', men will see that you are looking and do take advantage of that, sometimes thats why you attract the wrong type. Good luck!

[cab]

I have been on my own for a long time now after a couple of failed relationships.
I too get lonely,and fill my life with classes ,work etc.
I meet some lovely people, but miss having someone 'special'
Good luck. x

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Tell you what I think you will find this site a good help. www.onelifeboard.com

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, i will take you out and try to take your mind off things if you want...