Editor's Blog20 mins ago
Elderly mother is driving me nuts
4 Answers
My mother had a stroke almost 2 years ago when she was 75. She recovered quite well but was not able to drive again so was largely housebound in a remote area with no bus service. I work full time as does my husband. My brother has a lorry business to run. After struggling along with weekly visits to her house to take shopping etc, it was quite clear that things were not ideal.
We suggested to Mum that she come and live with us in a large static caravan in our paddock next to the house. I got planning permission from council and we finally moved her in in May this year.
She has her own little private area in the corner of our paddock and I really thought she would get on with life and benefit from having more company and support..
How wrong I was, I finally realised that Mum had more issues than I realised and has had them for years.
She has anxiety problems, and is clinically depressed in my opinion but the doctors do not seem to notice.
Mum fell out with her neighbours at her previous address over something trivial and she is now convinced they are out to get her. Nothing I say will shake her unwavering belief that these people get up at 4am in the morning , drive 12 miles to where she lives now and prowl about outside her caravan !!! She gets very angry with me if I tell her she is being stupid.
The final straw has been this week, she was given a beautiful brooch by the lady she had cleaned for for years. She recieved this brooch just before she had the stroke two years ago.
This week she got the brooch out and declared its not the same one. I assured her it was her brooch but she will not be convinced. She says its her old neighbours, they went in her house and swopped it for a far inferior one. This is all absolute tosh. I don't like her to be so upset because she thinks someone has stolen something so precious to her. And all the time she has her brooch and does not recognise
We suggested to Mum that she come and live with us in a large static caravan in our paddock next to the house. I got planning permission from council and we finally moved her in in May this year.
She has her own little private area in the corner of our paddock and I really thought she would get on with life and benefit from having more company and support..
How wrong I was, I finally realised that Mum had more issues than I realised and has had them for years.
She has anxiety problems, and is clinically depressed in my opinion but the doctors do not seem to notice.
Mum fell out with her neighbours at her previous address over something trivial and she is now convinced they are out to get her. Nothing I say will shake her unwavering belief that these people get up at 4am in the morning , drive 12 miles to where she lives now and prowl about outside her caravan !!! She gets very angry with me if I tell her she is being stupid.
The final straw has been this week, she was given a beautiful brooch by the lady she had cleaned for for years. She recieved this brooch just before she had the stroke two years ago.
This week she got the brooch out and declared its not the same one. I assured her it was her brooch but she will not be convinced. She says its her old neighbours, they went in her house and swopped it for a far inferior one. This is all absolute tosh. I don't like her to be so upset because she thinks someone has stolen something so precious to her. And all the time she has her brooch and does not recognise
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Same answer, really....and yes, there certainly are pills and potions that can make a great difference....not to mention tests to find out what is the matter with your Mum. It may not necessarily be a mental health problem. At her age physical problems can manifest in all sorts of ways. I wouldn't delay mcuh longer in talking other GP...not because I think anything dramatic or awful will happen anytime soon, but because it may be that whatever ails your Mum can be simply fixed.
AS far as Social Services are concerned, your GP should also be up on this.
Again , good luck.
Same answer, really....and yes, there certainly are pills and potions that can make a great difference....not to mention tests to find out what is the matter with your Mum. It may not necessarily be a mental health problem. At her age physical problems can manifest in all sorts of ways. I wouldn't delay mcuh longer in talking other GP...not because I think anything dramatic or awful will happen anytime soon, but because it may be that whatever ails your Mum can be simply fixed.
AS far as Social Services are concerned, your GP should also be up on this.
Again , good luck.
I think you are probably right Ladyalex but Im thinking that carting Mum off to see a Geriatrician for an assesment could be a problem. She is still quite feisty when she wants to be. I will bear your advice in mind though because I can see we have the beginnings of a problem.
And just in case anyone wonders, we did not move Mum into our house because its quite tiny and unsuitable for an old person anyway. (no room for stair lifts etc)
And just in case anyone wonders, we did not move Mum into our house because its quite tiny and unsuitable for an old person anyway. (no room for stair lifts etc)
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