Horrible life

[auntwendy]

Hey I don't really know about this we site but I need some advice. Basically a few years ago My husband was killed when we were holiday. Basically we were in a car crash and I managed to get my self out of the car but he was unconcious. I really tried to get him out but the car set alight and I had to get away from it. It was really horrible as he woke up and I could here his screaming. Anyway me and my daughter took it pretty hard and I was in Depression ever since. Two months ago we had another blow as my daughter was arrested in Bolivia for drug smuggling. Last week they awarded her 13 years in prison. She is only 19 and is such a beautiful girl. She got involved with some really horrible people who apparently threatened her into doing it. I havent made it out to see her as I am on benefits and really cant afford the flight so we keep in touch via the phone or post. Not that this isnt enough last week I was diagnosed with having a brain tumour and early signs are that it is melignant. I know I dont really have long to live but dont know how to tell my daughter I will never see her again. I really wish I could click my fingers and everything would go dark. Can anyone give me any advice please?

[Ice.Maiden]

Three young Norwegian people've been held on on drug smuggling charges in Bolivia. No one from here.

[terambulan]

auntwendy....go to Bolivia and present yourself at the prison to see your daughter and be near her at this ailing time. Who knows where this trip may lead....the legal authorities may show you compassion and release your daughter.....you may get alternative treatment for the tumour?

Life is to be lived....go to Bolivia and seek fortune and a dream....it will remove your present problems from your mind.

[terambulan]

Hiya Ice....didn't see u there. You got up hungry as well? Smoked salmon tonite....smorgsbord?

[Ice.Maiden]

Hey there!!!! Laugh ye not! I can eat smoked salmon at any time, T! x

[Richard1966]

I have read all the posts and we are clearly a very skeptical lot.

I did wonder if we were going to get a request for funds to help with a last visit to the daughter, that would have sealed it for me.

I disagree with those who have said that the daughters case would have hit the news. The media are very selective and tend to respond to well orchestrated campaigns. A lot of cases, especially where guilt is clear, do not get reported al all.

To answer your question i agree that if you can afford it go out their. If you cannot go tell her the facts of your situation in clear and unemotional terms the next time you speak to her. She needs to know and their is no good way to break this news but better it comes from you early so she has the opportunity to come to terms with the information and talk to you about this rather than you hide it from her and she find out close to or after your death.

This site is a question and answer site open to the public, it s not a substitute for counseling which your GP can refer you to. There is a mixed bunch of people using this site and It does look like you have caught the wrath of the most cynical.

I hope you manage to find a way through this.

[Bbbananas]

I really don't know what to say because doubt has obviously been cast over whether this is a genuine case.

If it is - my God, my heart goes out to you & it is truly awful. And I'm sorry you've come across such scepticism.

If it isn't - why would anyone make anything up like this? I can't detect any 'tongue-in-cheek' behind the story, or any hints it may be a wind-up. If it is a regular poster having a larf - well, they have obviously gone too far.

[auntwendy]

Thankyou for the support of the few on here I really do appreciate it. I have been on the phone to relatives all day and I may be able to scrape together enough for a flight over there. Its breaking my heart knowing that its the last time I will see her and I know how upset she is going to be. She has had such a difficult life and I feel like I am going to make it even worse for her. The guilt is overwhelming me. I feel like I have let her down so much. Does anybody know the currency in Bolivia?

[peb9]

hmmmm......
few things ive picked up on here, not sayin that your story is a crock o ****, or sayin i believe it either but...
you say early signs of the tumour are malignant, and you dont know how long you have to live.

Have you been told theres nothing they can do, as some tumours can be treated, also, until i was told i have x amount o time left, i wouldnt be goin around tellin ppl you no you aint goin to make it!

im sorry, if i was you and the "worse" may happen, id sure as ***** be doin my hardest to scrape the pennies together and go out there and see my daughter if i thought i wasnt goin to make it.

anyways you asked for some advice so here is my advice.... take your replys as of ppl who know how this site works as there is a lot of arses on here, and at present, goin from alot of Ab'rs, looks like you could be one o them, ppl here have gave you their opinions some their advice, but i think you need to look a wee bit closer to home for the answers your lookin for and not a Q. & A. site.

[tigerlily11]

I recently spoke to a friend and I can say yes life can poop on you from a great height some times.
She lost her little girl in a drowning accident, her husband then commited suicide and her son was murdered in a knife attack while abroad.
I know lifes a total Behatch sometimes.
I can't offer you any advice Wendy. I can only say I hope it works out for you and you and your daughter can find some peace in the time you have left.
Good luck and when you get to heaven give the man upstairs a good kick in a shins.

[rock-n-roll-]

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through auntwendy. All I can say is try and stay postive through all of this. I was diagnosed with bone cancer on my 21st birthday last year and have had to have quite alot of treatment. I've also had to have a major operation and more or less learn to walk again, which has been quite frustrating but I just feel lucky to be alive. I stayed positive throughout the whole experience and made sure that I had loved ones around me to encourage me to do things and look out for me. I advise you to do the same. Like someone said earlier, some tumours are treatable.............just look at me! I feel alot healthier now. Have you thought about talking to someone from Macmillan? I believe they have counsellors and offer financial help.

My thoughts are with you auntwendy. I hope you get through this :) I believe in you! :) Take care x

[auntwendy]

Hello rock-n-roll thankyou for your words of support. You must have enough on your mind as it is though. You must be such a strong character to have dealt with that at such a tender age. Its people like you in this world that gives me hope and reassurance that there are decent people out there in my time of need. It seems there are some people on here really do not respect life or peoples feelings at all. I have seen a councilor through my local GP but didn't really help much. What will I be able to find in Macmillan? Thankyou again for the support I have recieved on here.

[rock-n-roll-]

You're welcome :) My treatment and everything is finished now. I had six cycles of chemotherapy, which ended in April. I just have to have physiotherapy and regular scans now, but I do feel great. Don't get me wrong, I did have down days, but I had people to talk to about it. I actually made quite alot of friends in hospital and that made it alot easier because I had other people to talk to that were going through the same thing as me. Maybe you could talk to someone else that's having treatment for a brain tumour?
Also, when I was in hospital I had a social worker that sorted out any benefits I was entitled to. As far as I'm aware everyone on my ward got to see one, but we were all inpatients, so maybe that just concerns people that have to stay in hospital.
I know it's difficult telling people that you have a tumour. It was a hard thing for me to do. My friends were aware that I was having problems with my knee though and I told them about the biopsy I had to have done etc. It was just hard telling them about the diagnosis. It think it's mainly because you don't want to worry them too much, but they have to know. I just told them that was going to have to have chemotherapy, rather than saying "I've got cancer". Trust me though, it's better once everyone knows. I know that it'll be hard for your daughter to hear, but she really does need to know.
The only other thing I can think of is maybe you could go to your local citizen's advice bureau?