do i give in?

[leighashford]

plz help!! im 14 and still a virgin but my boyfriend(16) isnt. recently hes been pressuring me for sex, i said i would think about it but i dont know what to do! i sort of want to but im scared! what do i do, i dont want to loose him?

[Casey]

You are 14, in my opinion that is too young to be having sex, especially if you are scared and don't feel ready. If your bf really cares about you he will understand your feelings and stop pressuring you. Do not have sex with him at the fear of losing him, if this is the case he is not worth it! Your first time should be special with someone you love and who loves you back.

[Wraith]

Don't let your boyfriend pressure you into anything you don't feel comfortable with. If you don't feel ready yet then tell him. If he truly loves you he will wait. At 14 your body is going through a lot of changes and you are probably experiencing new feelings. (Don't forget that at 14 it is illegal for you to have sex and your boyfriend could get into a lot of trouble.) Don't be afraid to wait, you have plenty of time to experience this. Take things one step at a time. If you do decide to go ahead, please take precautions. Take care.

[becks]

Don't do it! I'm sure you will regret it, the fact that you are having doubts suggests that you know you aren't really ready. If he loved you, he'd want to wait, and wouldn't leave you if you wanted to wait. What country are you in? It's illegal in the UK to have sex under 16 and your boyfriend could be put on the sex offenders register if he does so. If I were you I'd wait until I was 16 and he's still around he will have been worth waiting for.

[andy hughes]

Can only agree with the excellent responses given so far. I have told my daughters that if any boy advises them that he doesn't go out with girls who don't sleep with him, the answer is two words - "Good bye!" If your boyfriend cares for you he will wait, if you get the previous argument, you have your answer all ready to go!

[georgit79]

I'm just going to reiterate what has already been said. You're right to be scared, because it's too early for you. If your boyfriend doesn't respect your wishes, then he's not worth having anyway. It may hurt, but you'll find someone who deserves you. Be strong!

[supaman]

do you give him oral pleasure?

[stoo_pid]

If your BF was the sort of boy to dump you for not having sex with him he would also be the sort of boy who would dump you as soon as he has had sex with you.

If he's good enough for you he won't leave.

[NoGood Boyo]

Just to add some moral support, don't do it if you are unsure.

[smudge]

Hi Leigh, if your boyfriend truly loves you, he will be prepared to wait until you are of the legal age & ready for that very special moment.

 

The very first time is something you will always remember, so if you are unsure, just say no. If he accepts your refusal, he's what I would class as a real gent - if he doesn't, then do as Andy says & wave him goodbye. -x

[Hammer]

I can only agree with everyone else. If you need to ask then you're not ready. Don't let him pressure you and wait till it feels right.

[dan.ryan]

do you pleasure him with oral sex? if you dont then maybe you could move on to this to keep him from getting annoyed with you for not sleepign with him.

[dan.ryan]

i pleasure shauns with oral stimulation and he never demands sex as he gets enough from my mouth.

[georgit79]

Leigh, just ignore some of the posts on this. I think you know which ones I mean! Some people just don't really have brains, and think they're being clever. It's just childish.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was almost 18, and I think I was only just about ready then. Make sure you're sure. If not, don't do it!  And, as some people have said, your boyfriend would be breaking the law if he did have sex with you.  Just do what you feel comfortable with. If that's just kissing, then so be it!

[smudge]

I mean follow you heart & the expert advise from us more mature folk!

[jenky]

You say you 'sort of want to' - That doesn't sound too convincing to me. Don't even think about doing it if you're not sure. He might not be all bad, but if you think you're going to regret it once he's told all his mates etc then remember you can never take it back.

[Starsia]

I waited till I was 19 to have sex, then i had it with someone who pressured me into it. I hated my experience and my first time will always be a bad memory for me. I never enjoyed until now with my boyfriend whom i love and never pressures me. It is a great experience when you are sure you want to, free of pressure and with someone you love and trust whole heartedly. If you even have the slightest doubt then it is not worth it. You should not let anyone pressure you into that, if he truly loves you he WILL wait till you are ready. Give it time and don't let people tell you it's cause you are 14, it's really about when your body and mind are ready and that can be at any age, it is just generally much later that we mature to that point. Kids are having way too much sex because of pressure.

[tigga]

I definitely agree with all the obvious posts, if you feel the need to question at all, you are totally not ready, of course not all guys are bad and he may not be either but he shouldnt pressure you.

I was well past 18 when i did (im a bloke) i was under pressure- not from the partner but peer pressure made me feel like i had to do it to fit in with the lads.

I totally regretted that and wish i had found someone special for the first time !.

Please dont give in but if you must, do be careful.

Take care ;-)

 

[DOB]

Hi Leigh. I can only agree with what all the above posts say. Don't let anybody pressure you into doing something you don't want to, either sexual or otherwise. If the guy really cares about you, he won't pressure you but will want to wait until you are ready. I'm a 30 yr-old guy and I slept with somebodyto lose my virginity and I regretted it when I met my next girlfriend cos I would have preferred to lose it to her. If he pressures you, he's not worth holding onto.