im gay

[ICeMANSAV]

What shud i do?

[Moog]

about what?

[ICeMANSAV]

About my sexuallity. I havnt come out about yet. Should i be ashamed of being gay. Should i come out about it?

[andy hughes]

What ever you feel comfortable with.

[smudge]

Why should you feel ashamed of being gay? There are lots of things in life that people should feel ashamed about, but being gay isn't one of them!

[ICeMANSAV]

Thankyou for your encouragement

[FP]

Why try and hide it.  You are what you are.  You are a normal human being.  You have nothing to be ashamed of.  Those that condemn you for it do have something to be ashamed of. 

 

Why don't you contact an organisation that would help you in this situation.  Your local library or doctors surgery would probably have posters up regarding this.

 

 

[ICeMANSAV]

Ill try that, again thankyou very much.

[bernardo]

No you should not be ashamed of it, because you haven't done anything wrong.

 

"Coming out" is not a single event; it's a life-long process.  Every time you meet a new person you have to make a decision about how or when or whether to tell them. I guess that you are probably a teenager and that you are possibly worrying about what your parents might think - I told my parents when I was 18, partly because I was a bit concerned about some negative things which my Dad had said.  When I first told them, his initial reaction was to blurt out "but it's unnatural", but that was only his instinctive reaction when he hadn't had a chance to think about it.

 

You should only tell people that you are gay if you feel comfortable about it, and you should feel that you "ought" to tell people.  If you want to tell your parents, it's probably best to just do it casually in a quiet moment - not in the middle of an argument.

 

Having said that, in the 18 years since I told my parents, I have experienced anti-gay comments or taunts literally only once or twice, and only mild ones from silly people.  My Dad seemed a bit negative at first, but that was because he's old and probably hadn't had any real life experience of meeting or knowing any gay people before.  He very soon got used to the idea.  In fact, I came to realise that what he was concerned about was not so much the fact that I was gay, but he was worried about whether I might be ill-treated by other people.

[FP]

Meant to say:  You might get a surprised reaction from friends and family at first but after a very short while you will be surprised how noone will even think or care about it.  You will feel better much, much better to 'come out' rather than supressing your true feelings.

 

Best wishes to you.

[FP]

Gab Bernardo.  Great answer for ICeMANSAV. 

 

[bernardo]

If you ever experience nasty comments, it's worth remembering a few basic facts:

 

• People don't choose to be gay, they just are.
• There have been gay people in all human societies, all over the world, throughout history, so it can't be "unnatural" or some sort of cultural deviation.
• Gay sexual activity has been observed to happen in dozens of animal species.

If anybody quotes the Bible at you or starts being religious, tell them this:

• He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone.
• Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
• Love thy neighbour.

The Bible has bits in it where it seems to condemn gay sex between men.  But, with equal ferocity and condemnation, it also condemns

• Eating shellfish
• Trimming beards
• Wearing clothes made of more than one type of cloth
• Eating baked-beans on Thursdays

(I made up the last bit)

[bernardo]

I've just thought of another thing.  Quite often, people who are anti-gay seem to be obsessed with one particular thing which is only done by a small minority of gay men (i.e. one man putting his willy inside another man's bottom).  That sort of attitude comes from the people who don't know the difference between "sex" and "love".

Do you remember when you were little - what did you think when you first discovered about how babies are made?  When I was 6 or 7 I instinctively thought that the idea of a man putting his willy inside a woman was "yucky" - it's only later that people understand what love and feelings are all about.  The people who have negative anti-gay attitudes like that are the people who just aren't imaginitive enough to have considered the idea of two men loving each other.  Such people are very few and far between; it's only because they make such a fuss about it that anybody even notices.  I'm sure you won't have anything to worry about.

[ICeMANSAV]

Thankyou Bernardo. I appreciate your post.

[smudge]

bernardo, my nephew aged 41 is gay & through conversations I have had with him, his sentiments  would have been the same as yours. You & he have obviously experienced the same problems from time to time over the years.

 

ICe, as I said earlier, not everyone is homophobic.  If your parents & close family accept that you are gay, then that's half the battle over, well that's what my nephew said.   

 

 

[chopstick]

As a father of a ten year old son, I have to confess that I would be dissapointed if he turned out to be gay, for the simple reason Ive been looking forward to eyeing up his girlfriend as soon as he turns sixteen

[Ray.Pist]

bernardo is not really gay, the person who wrote all these posts is the imposter pretending to be bernardo. Dont listen to him bernardo is as straight as cliff richard.

[fettle]

On a slightly different note, we had a dog who we thought was gay, she was a bitch and when in season used to get aroused by other dog's. After a trip to our local vet's they pointed out that the dog was actually male, but had a really small part. Needless to say we both managed to see the funny side.

[georgit79]

That's just too bad...I fancied you as well!

[georgit79]

..I'm confused now..who is gay? Who isn't? I say we're all the same anyway, and I've been single for so long I may as well be either!

[beale]

Normal protocol is to have sexual intercourse with a member of the same sex as you. I'm no expert though.