friendship problems

[ciara louise]

i have a best friend who i knew i could trust, and tell her everything, well i thats what i thought. i mean i really did believe that she was a true best friend- i tell her everything and we've never had an argument. after problemswithebestfriends, i thought she was different, &i felt she wasdifferenttothem. she never leftme outorwasmeantome. but we had 3 weeks of school, when we came back to school- she was different, she had completly changed. well she has a boyfriend now, i& she met him from the internet shes1 im concerned for her coz i careabouther& she has her first jobshe works on saturdays, and a girl who works there offered her a cigeratte&she had one. but shes said to me, i hate cigerattes, she ignores me& isnt comidic anymore, have i done something wrong? and she met bf she told me he keeps saying we should have sex, i told her not to you should dump him if hes pressurizing you to doing that, &she sed she hates him and &it was over & then on bebo i sawher comments to him shes saying oh babe im so sorry, i love you! so i dont no why she cant just tell me the truth. if she was truthful to me then i wouldnt be complaining as much. so i dont no what to do anymore. i honestly believed she was the bestfriend,&she was always here for me- like after all the problems with my other 'best friends' i thought she was different, but i guess not. so now im closer to my other best friend, but i dont know if i should be calling her a best friend& tell her everything as after all i thought my other best friend was realy a true friend- like ive none her all my life , and she was just the same as everyone else, so i dont knw if i should trust this one! i want to, bu i dont no if i should. i have really good times with my other best friend(the1 with the bf)& when i think of her not being in my life, it makes mereally sad, so i dont know what to do, please help...

[Huderon]

You are at an age where you need a "best friend", so go with the new one. If you have doubts about how trustworthy she is, don't tell her absolutely everything to start with - trust takes time to build.

That doesn't mean you have to cut off your old one completely, because she will have bf problems sooner or later and will come back to talk to you about them.

If you can, get yourself a Saturday job - it will give you a chance to meet other people from different backgrounds and see how people get on together as work mates.

You gave your friend sensible advice about not being pressurised into sex, but she's on a high with "love" so the chances are she will give in to the boy in the end. When you have a bf, you'll face the same pressures, so stay sensible and only go for sex when you are ready. It may mean that you lose a couple of boyfriends along the way, with all the upset and heartache that goes with it, but in the end you will feel better about yourself for holding off until you are ready.

[chanel5]

Hi Ciara Louise, relationships are hard, and it is easier to lose friends than to make them. It's a pity that your best friend has started to grow away from you, but sadly that happens, and you have to try and make the best of things. If you can keep telling yourself that it is not because of you or anything you did, but just because people grow apart. Make friends where you can, and try not to trust people too quickly, or rely on just one friend, especially while you are still at school. The more friends you have, the better, but don't tell ALL your secrets to just anyone. Are you close to your mum, or your gran - is there someone that you can talk to about all this? It is very hard to be trying to deal with this on your own, but please don't let it get you down - you will have many different friends as you get older, and some of them you will eventually lose touch with, but there will always be others to make friends with. That is just the way life is.
Lots of love, and try to stay cheerful.

[ciara louise]

thanks for al the advice, yeah i agree with yous saying not to trust people too quickly but i thought i could trust her as ive known her my whole life aha. but i understand what yous mean. yeah i talk to my other best friend about it and my cousin aswell. sometimes when i think about it alot i do get sad. but i am cheerful most of the time!: aha. thanks x