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FP | 14:13 Thu 04th Nov 2004 | Body & Soul
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Why are more and more children participating?

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Children are developing more quickly physically and will continue to do so, but they are not developing any faster mentally.  Why, oh why are they becoming sexually active so much earlier and thinking it's something they have to do to keep in with peer pressure.

 

I am genuinely so sad that these children are forfeiting their childhood so earlier and not getting the best out of their young lives.

 

I have been called an 'Old Fogey' on this site recently and must admit that I still have some Old Fogey ideas.

 

Is lack of proper parenting something to do with it?

I think most of all peer pressure is to blame, im 20 and when i was at school, there was talk of people 'doing it' although i doubt many were true! I think its about experimenting and the fact that young people are desperate to grow up too fast, not realising the consequences of what they are doing!
I must admit though, one thing my mam always taught me was to respect myself and not to let anyone ever mess me about, which i didn't........admittedly i fell pregnant at 18 but it was to my fiance and we are getting married next year, but i do think good parenting has something to do with it.............
I'm 21 and live in an area where there is a massive amount of teenage pregnancies. Last night on the bus a 20 year girl was bragging that she was "up the duff again" and that by her 21st birthday she'll have "a 3yr old, a one yr old and a new born, that are three different races - born in 2003, 2004 2005 isn't that cool?". Where I live I find it's history repeating itself, so I'd agree it is down to parenting and educating the parents as well as their children. Some of the girls I went to school with were trying for babies from age 12 because that's all they wanted from life. Friends I have now have no interest in making a career for themselves, owning their own home, getting married, etc they just want their own family and by starting young guarantees that you'll get a home, benefits etc. I know this is kind of long and going off the point, but if young girls had more to look up to in the way of parents and more to look forward to, as well as feeling supported and encouraged from their family then I'm sure they wouldn't feel the need to have sex to feel wanted, or to have a baby to feel loved.
I agree natalie 1982, but i just wanted to set the record straight in case anyone thinks that i'm one of the aforementioned young mothers, i bought my house, hold down a good job and i am due to get married next year.....didn't want people to think i had my baby just to get benefits. I feel sorry for the people who think having a baby will give them someone to love and someone who will love them, because, yes a baby does give your life a purpose, but only when the time is right.
I just think they're more upfront and open about it nowadays...although I'm only 10/15 years older than the young teens today and I didn't have sex for the first time until I was 18.
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Thanks for your answers girls.  I don't rate any more as I think there's a tendency to give good ratings to answers you agree with, which doesn't seem fair.  Personally, I think lack of parenting contributes to most problems these days.  I don't think it's the job of schools!  I personally think that the Government's policies don't help. 
natalie_1982- your post just goes to show that 'kids' nowadays see children as accesories.It's heartbreaking- I feel so sorry for the children being born to these youngsters, but the fact of the matter is that they are going to turn out exactly the same as their parents. I do believe that parental guidance has a great deal to do with it, so maybe we should be looking at the generation "prior to this" for answers, if you know what I mean. I don't think I do!
And Fakeplastic, I don't think you're an old fogey- you are the voice of reason!  Your comments are always refreshing.
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The 'Voice of Reason'  That would make my Husband and Son howl with laughter.  They think I am sixpence short of a shilling!  Thanks, anyway Georgit.
I agree georgit, i walk around my home town and see groups of girls hanging around the streets with buggies in tow, like its cool to have a baby. I feel sorry for the children too, what kind of an upbringing can they expect?
SGKelloe32 - I didn't in any mean to infer that you were 'one of those mothers'. Mothers having babies at age 40 could just as well treat their kids badly and do it for financial gain i.e. benefits, home, etc. Georgit I think you've hit the nail on the head with saying that they are fashion accessories. And for the record, at 21 some people think I'm an old fogey because I want to wait a little while before I start a family, I don't feel ready yet, so I'm with you fakeplastic.
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Childhood is so short and I feel so sorry that so many kids don't experience it to its full.  It's the only time of our lives that we are (or should be) able to be carefree.  How can these children be good parents when they are only children themselves.

 

There were a group of them outside our local PO yesterday with there kids in tow (their kids were between 6 months and 5 years) discussing what their hash, weed and snort requirements were openly in the street whilst they sorted out there money.  Two of the parents had just come out of High School and were still in uniform!

Well I'm 25, and I don't see myself in a position to have a child for at least another 5 years or so. For one, I kind of need someone to provide the sperm (and the fathering responsibilities!), and I haven't exactly got my finances in order at present!
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I really must stop typing there instead of their

Fakeplastic, that's horrendous. What a sheltered life I must lead (although I now live in London). I'm from quite a nice area of Manchester (footballer territory), and only a couple of girls at school got pregnant...probably to the footballers!

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Georgit, I was 36 years young when I had my child!!
I think a lot of youngsters are starved of affection, and when someone is nice to them, it's a very short step into a sexual relationship. I don;t think teenagers think ahead in terms of what having a child actually means - a financial and emoitonal commitment to another human being for the next sixteen years at least - and they may well have a rosy view of parenthood. As always, the root of this problem is lack of education and communication - a facet of society which will continue until proper parenting skills are put in place for coming generations.
Natalie 1982, i know you didn't mean that i was one of those mams! I agreed with your point anyway, i just didn't want anyone to think that i had a baby to get money, thats all.
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A so agree, Andy.  I would be really interested to know how you envisage that we get back on track in this country with Parenting.  I have my own views, but I would like to see yours first.......

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