Relationships based purely on emotions, sex, etc., are far less likely to survive long term than ones based on mutual values and interests and compatability of temperament.
If you are serious about staying together rather than just being frightened of living alone, you really need to talk to each other. Many men really don't like talking, often due to low self esteem, immaturity and the fact that women tend to understand men better than men understand women.
Relationships coaching can take people forward without what I consider the unnecessary time spent going over the past and the pain. Why take people back into their depression, etc., when moving forward is what's required?!
First of all you need to accept each other for what you are. We all change, and we can all make plans about the directions we wish to go. And there are loads of books for ideas.....
Good Luck!!