Really want a baby

[angel21]

had abortion at 18 (as ex wasn't supportive - one I am seeing again now - due to trouble with his ex and their little girl) and ever since then been broody.

Girl at work is pregnant, all her friends are pregnant, her sister is pregnant, my friend is pregnant, everywhere I go its pregnant people and babies and baby talk, the apprentice tomorrow is to do with babies.

Spending time at work with this girl and spending time with ex and his 7yr old on sunday is not helping.

Perhaps its time to pack job in and move in with mum 50 miles away - that will solve ex and girl at work problem but not broodiness problem.

[sn�gs]

''It would be nice right now to be on an even happy keel, but my life isn't panning out that way.''

Not a very settled environment to bring a child into. Sort yourself out first.

[angel21]

so I need to get a new job with a better wage

to do that I need more confidence and the opportunity to be given to me

need to get a flat of my own - (only to rent mind you - though would be nice to be able to buy like i should be able to) for privacy - before I can do that need a better job

need a nice man, before i can do that need to get rid of this one and get over him and meet someone ( that could take couple of years)

I'm seeing all the people who are better off than me. I know theres worse off. We all have our problems.

[angel21]

ffs wish people would read this. I do realise I am not in a position to have a baby thank you very much why do you think I am so ******* unhapy with people around me going on about their babies

[yogi.bear]

Hi Angel

It all seems to have been said already, but i will add that it is not easy bringing up children in this day and age....i have four of them and if you dont have a strong family unit of some sort....would be really difficult to manage, even with one lovely child, and going by what you said in your thread post....you had an abortion at 18 as your ex was'nt supportive then and now after fathering a child with his girlfriend, back with you........sounds like a bad mix, sweetheart...and i would'nt wish you to get into a hole you cannot dig yourself out of! will he stay around and be supportive to you when baby's born?
so maybe a rethink...talk to your close friends/family...get their opinions too.....there must be plenty of loving, caring, supportive men out there and you're only young, ffs....enjoy yourself for the next 10 years or so and if something special happens on the way....than you will know!

The move sounds the best option and start afresh!
But it will be your decision, obviously.Take Care

I wish you the best of luck for the future,my lovely.
xx
:0)

[ummmm]

Do you really think people should not talk about their babies around you to save your feelings?

That's incredibly selfish. That's what parents do. I think you need to take a look at yourself as to why you begrudge so much.

[warpig3]

Angel, there will always be someone around talking 'babies' and it will always be so. For the most part, no one is trying to hurt you by talking about babies but sometimes it may seem like that

You need a plan of sorts, and I think in your previous posting you laid one out for yourself: get better job, get place of own, find loving partner and then eventually baby.

Sometimes by being pro-active and not negative, things begin to happen easier than we think. Try not to dwell on what you dont have or what you think you are missing but concentrate on what you would like, say, in 5 years time and take positive steps toward that goal.

You are still young and as has been said, you have your whole life before you.

[zzxxee]

right i wont be judgemental as many people make choices to be a loan parent
however you need to take in to account
1, are you financially stable as its YOUR job to provide for your your child not the tax payers
2, what happens when you need to get up for work and your child has been up crying all night and you have to survive on a few hours broken sleep somethimes for weeks on end
3, whos going to give you emotional support
4, can you afford adequate child care?
5, maybe you need to move back with your mum to get away from the ex and his girlfriend and take some time out to set yourself a personal goal if your mum will help you out by putting a roof over your head why not gain some new skills at college or uni to get the dream job youve always wanted
lastly your 21 i became a single mum at 19 and if i had my time over again things would have been so different,
i dont regret haveing my daughter but wished id left it till much much later to give her the best start in life with aloveing partner not , ending up in the grotty mother and baby room we started out in those first years, were hard bleak and lonely, please think carefully before makeing the all important decision to bring a child into this harsh worls we live in xx

[.legendisgod]

Im away for lunch.


This is bull.


Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[rattylucy]

i waited until i was married and secure and spent 10 years trying for a baby while undergoing various operations and treatments for endometriosis and also a failed IVF attempt. During this time many of my friends and colleagues had their pregnancys and babies, yes it was upsetting but why should they stop getting on with their lives? You have to lose this resentment you have towards others or you will never be able to move on. I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago so will never now be a mother, instead i enjoy the times i spend with my 5 neices (all of my siblings have children) and my friends children. And after having a lovely loud, mad, lively day with these children what surprises me most is how nice it is to then return to my small but clean, tidy and quiet home and my dog and enjoy the peace. Sometimes people envy me for being able to take off without a second thought. you have to try and make the most out of life or else you will never be happy.

[yogi.bear]

lots of love to you, rattylucy xxx

[cymruambyth1]

Angel as someone said previously, there are some women out there who medically cant have children and they have to listen to people going on about babies all the time.

You seem very bitter for someone of 21. If you pick yourself up, be positive, things will happen. You are never going to meet someone if all you do is moan about how crap your life is.

I may only be a few years older than you (24), but I moved out of home when I was 17, got myself a flat, and a job, at one point I was working two jobs, 16 hours a day, just to pay the bills, but now I am glad I did all that because I am happy.

It is possible to get a good job, but you have to be a bit more positive, if you go into an interview feeling sorry for yourself, they will sense that and wont give you the job.

How about looking for jobs today, or put a post on here about the best way to go about getting a good job, something more positive.

You post a lot of random posts, like Vibra said, drugs then baby. People will just be judgemental because you just seem to be posting everything and anything.

As for the baby thing, you clearly knew it was a bad idea, you just wanted people on here to feel sorry for you, the more they dont agree with you, the more fed up you get.

BE POSITIVE!

[pastafreak]

Angel......people having babies is NOT going to go away......and you just have to learn to deal with it...NOT let it and them rule your life as it seems to be. You are VERY young...and by the sounds of it in neither the right economic place nor emotional place for a lot of the things you want. You even speak of being able to buy a property as 'should be able to do' thing........no-it just doesn't work that way. Much as you would like it to,everything takes time and the acquiring of both emotional and financial stability. Please try to enjoy your youth,don't waste time yearning for something that you are not ready for. It is just a waste of energy that could be put to better use.
If you are so keen on children..and need a better paid / more fulfilling job-why don't you retrain as a nursery nurse,or something else connected with childcare??

[rattylucy]

thanks yogi bear. life can be hard but it can also be a lot of fun x

[angel21]

Hi ratty lucy, so sorry to hear of your situation and I know I am lucky in as far as I know I am fertile but that doesn't mean I am going to feel bad for venting my frustrations on here, because they are very real and very important to me.

I don't expect people to stop talking about their children but for people not to intentionally drop the word baby into every thing they say to me would be nice.

Thanks everyone xx

[redcrx]

angel, did you have a previous username? I recall answering a very similar question last year.

[bednobs]

I don't see how other people can be both "thoughtless" AND deliberately trying to upset you with their talk of babies!

[4getmenot]

I long for babies and redcrx knows how much I want children but times not right at moment but I wouldnt ever want people to lay off talking about their children so much. Have you ever been to counselling as I think you just havent quite got over the abortion and what ifs

[ummmm]

Would counselling work though? From this posts and many of her others she comes across as extremely selfish and as if she expects everything to be handed to her on a plate.

[rattylucy]

hi Angel, i also think maybe you need some counselling. It will be impossible for you to avoid pregnant women even if you move back to your mothers and you may find the feelings even get stronger.

I think it does help to vent your frustration as you say but you need to make sure you don't loose any true friendships in the process. x