Do you think you........

[angel21]

can love someone but not be 'in love' with someone?

I used to think this was a load of rubbish but now I'm not so sure.

I think you might be able to not be 'in love' with someone but to still love them, though more in the way you would love a friend.

[rinkins]

Absolutely salla

[yogi.bear]

angel

Well, anyway, i wish you all the best, sweetheart, and hope you come to a decision which you will then move forward, and start to feel that you ARE cheered up, and feeling good in yourself, and happy!.
You deserve that, as you sound caring, but seem not to get too much back in return.

Take care and will speak to you soon.

Love yogi xxxx

:0)

[sqad617]

salla.....let me kick off.

LOVE....a strong affection for something or somebody.

Now your definition of "IN LOVE"

[angel21]

My definition of love is your definition sqad and I would also add that loving something or somebody doesn't necessarily mean romantically although it can mean that sometimes.

In love - is the same as your definition for love but you have to be romantically linked/attached to that person. Oh yeah and it only really can be used for a person not an object.

[sqad617]

angel...thanks

So "love" and "in love" are the very same thing.

A lot of people would disagree with you, but, not me.

[angel21]

No I think they are different sqad because one is when you love them romantically and one is where you don't love them romatically you just love them.

[PurpleParis]

Angel, from my perspective I was married and I can honestly say that I did 'love' my husband but was not 'in love' with him. We had been together for 15 years in total, married for five of them.
He did stuff that I hated and couldn't live with, so in the end I finished the marriage, I asked him to go but it didn't mean that I had stopped loving him...I just didn't like him very much!
For me being 'in love' with someone is when, for example, your mobile rings and you can see their name and all you can do is smile and your stomach leaps!

[sqad617]

Fine....can I put this to you?

"Love" may be permanent, but being "in love" is never permanent.

[Bbbananas]

Hit the nail right on the head with that one sqad.

Loving is easy and usually lasts.
Being in love usually makes one act daft, have blinkers on, be reckless, be almost obsessive and to be downright stupid.... or is that just infatuation?

[Bbbananas]

But then I'm just a cynical old fart when it comes to being in love.

I love many and deeply.
I don't think I want to be in love again though. Ever.

[DEN53]

Sqad you are spot on 'love is pemanent but being in love is not' - I think love changes throughout the years of being married or knowing someone close.

[angel21]

I can relate to what you ahve said purple. Kind of how I feel although not exactly the same.

When I was in love with my ex I had the butterflies everytime I saw him. Now I don't have that and I just don't have the same feeling when I see him or when I am with him so I don't believe I am in love with him anymore. I like things about him but I also dislike a lot of things about him however I am unsure if I love him even though I am pretty sure I am not in love with him.

YA get me? anyone? lol andy please give me some of you're ability to express yourself clearly lol


Sometimes these debates hurt my head, I must look at things incredibly deeply and complexly I think

[angel21]

At the end of the day I know my relationship is wrong so will get out of it when I am good and ready but still wanted to explore this love and in love thing and it has been interesting reading your replies

[angel21]

None of its permanent I don't think. Apart from maybe a parent/child love. That may be permanent I don't know.

Imagine I was in love with partner but am not anymore but I might still love him, well eventually I may get out of rose tinted bubble and allow myself to see the nasty side of him for what it is and then I might love him less, then it might get to the stage where I only 'care about him a lot' then it might get to the stage when I realise he's not worth even 'caring' about - doesn't this mean none of its permanent?

I suppose the only thing that would be permanent are the memories