babysitting

[4getmenot]

Ok so last Saturday a friend txt me to ask if I would babysit that night. I had never babysat her daughter before but said yes to help her out. Her daughter was well behaved and enjoyed the night. At end of it they tried giving me �20.00 but I said no as it was my pleasure and I did it as a favour and if they're ever stuck again to call me. Well I have just had a txt saying can I babysit tomorrow night. I am busy and have told her that, I just have a feeling they are going to call all the time. What should I do

[dustinmyeye]

should have taken the money then they wouldnt be so quick to ask again lol

seriously though , even though they are your friends dont let them try take advantage of you.

[DEN53]

Sounds like they are taking advantage of your kind nature.

[albaqwerty]

thank them that they think of you as "first port of call" and you are flattered but you do have your own life to lead.

[sqad617]

I you enjoy it and you are free....say yes.

If you don't enjoy it and are doing something else....say no.

I cannot see your predicament.

[4getmenot]

sqad I have said yes my predicament is that I dont like saying no and dont want them asking me all the time but still want them to know I will help if I can. I did just ask if there was anyone else and she said yes but daughter had asked for me because I�m her new buddy. I think I have solved problem and have said �let her know I am emergency calls only if mummys stuck

[pericat]

I was in a similar predicament several years ago and I think if you are someone who is not afraid to ask someone to do something however many times, you are also someone who does not mind being told 'no'. But for people like us who don't like saying no it's difficult. you seem to have dealt well with the situation and if they come back again over the next short while I would continue to have something else on. Just remember if they have the 'cheek' - for the sake of a word to ask you, you can refuse and people like that will just move on to the next person. A bit long drawn out hope you got the jist

[sqad617]

4get and pericat.......two women who do not like to say NO.

Where have you been when I needed you?

[pericat]

But sqad who could possibly say no to you or is it who would dare say no ?

[sqad617]

pericat....."He who dares Wins".......bonjour!

[zzxxee]

invent a really hectic social life even if you have to draw your curtains and pretend your out

[4getmenot]

I am busy anyway this saturday believe me I dont have to make up a social life, I very rarely get chance to have time to myself, so when I do its nice not to have to babysit. I said yes last week because she was stuck and have said that, I just dont want her thinking she can ask every week. She has a large family and its only right she asks them 1st. She seems to be ok about this.

[cazzz1975]

stick to your guns 4get, if you crack then they will badger you everytime you say no. just be apologetic but you are too busy

[Sachs]

Be consistent with your reply. It's not fair to make you feel obligated x

[TheEqualizer]

Hi 4getmenot

Just tell them your freebie rate has now gone up to �25 a night.........as you like to get some cash to save for something nice.
x

:0)

[TheEqualizer]

Aah....just read your reply a few mins ago................

in that case just say you cant do it anymore as you have a lot on!

They'll hopefully leave you alone then.

:0)

[KoolKlown]

TheEqualizer???

YOu ******* gaylord!

[Lore]

If someone was so kind to babysit for my children and then wouldn't take anything for doing it, I'd leave it at least 6 months before I had the cheek to ask again. I think you've been very kind to help her out but for her to take advantage of that is just naughty!!

[Totterdown]

I was in a similar position - offering help with lifts when a (not particularly close) friend's husband died. I am now being asked all the time for shopping, visiting friends, going to meetings. Sometimes we have lunch out for which I pay for myself (never an offer to pay for me) besides petrol. The last straw was when this friend never offered to pay for the parking (�2) for a lift that was for her benefit. I now feel completely taken for granted and am now being harder hoping she will take the hint. I have stopped the lunches out, refuse to go anywhere where it needs parking fees, only agree to go very short journey, making my own arrangements when I think she might ask. I do feel guilty for being underhand but I know I am not the only person she could ask. Short of getting rid of the car or being downright rude, what can I do?

[Whoever]

This issue of being taken advantage of is a difficult one to deal with, and it's not easy to say NO to people you are friendly with. I think the only way to respond is to possibly to get the message over by saying a little white lie along the lines of "Well, I'll do it this time but I'm not going to make this a regular thing because somebody once took me badly for granted when I tried to help them out and then became so needy that they tried to turn me into a full time domestic service and made my life such a misery that I had to break of fthe friendship." If that doesn't get the message across, you'll just have to leave your phone permanently on answerphone and not respond to her calls.