How do you pick yourself up after yet another relationship failure?

[Xenon101]

After a 7 month relationship, I've just been dumped as she doesn't get a buzz. She says she is not sure she ever did. I know it was just 7 months but it seemed great and she admitted she really liked our time together, and so many people said we looked great together. I'm 36 now, and not sure how many more times I can restart. The hurt just gets too much sometimes. How do u stop yourself from becoming a non loving person. Feel I won't be able to let anyone in again. Ta. Xenon.

[brucie1996]

A lot of it about...Amber-Rose having same problm in Body & Soul sorry it has not worked out ............but if it is not right it's better to let go

[pinktwink]

yes xenon time does heal and you will find someone special that will last. Dont be too hard on yourself . Join some local groups as a way to meet new people . Often love arrives when you least expect. Good luck

[ELVIS68]

Pick yourself up and get on with life..it`s too short

As for her not getting a buzz...send her something in the post which buzzes and a note saying "Hope this makes you happy"

[Xenon101]

Cheers all.

I know about time healing, as I've been here several times before. I'm just worried that I'm going to start shutting people out so that it doesn't happen again. I meet loads of people through work and socially, so no problem there. As for this weekends split, I just can't see the lack of spark being a good enough reason. Surely the Spark doesn't last forever, and it's about more.

Anyway, appreciate your replies. Thanx.
Xenon.

[lil123]

I went through this after I left my violent husband who I was with for nearly 20 years.
I started by accepting my self the way I was and instead of pulling myself down, now do the opposite.
I build my self esteem and confidence right up.
i also went to see a top life coach who really made all the difference.
I am now in a position where I m having the best relationship with myself I never thought was possible in turn I am not so bothered about being with a partner.
I met someone who has really turned out to be everything I wanted from a relationship but I needed to go through the one's that were wrong to realise this.
I think once you get it right on the inside, everything else really does fall into place x

[DaisyMae]

Hello Xenon. I was sorry to read of your break-up and it can be very difficult to get over. However, it really doesn't matter what reason she gave for her change of heart, the result is the same. Don't spend too much time trying to analyse why there was no 'spark' and whether it really mattered or not. Obviously it mattered to her and that is all that really counts in this instance. Yes the spark does tend to fade over time, but not in just 7 months. It normally takes many years and is replaced by a warm contentment and companionship. Accept the inevitable, it just wasn't meant to be, and move on. Take it a day at a time and don't expect too much of yourself. Make and keep friendships, they will help you through the bad days and remember one very important fact - you are never too old for love. Good Luck !

[pleuni]

mmm.....life coach sounds like an interesting resource to consult - how would one go about finding such a coach?

[viali]

sounds like you give too much ..women seem to be the masters these days ..believe me i know..when the time is right you will meet who you need..be posotive in your thoughts and tell yourself she was'nt for you!!its probably true !

[bondie007]

Listen, I'm sure I'm speaking on everyones behalf that we've all been there. I'm 35, single etc etc and have had my fair share of failed relationships; it does get you down but I have found the trick is this; don't judge any potential partner on previous experiences otherwise you will become guarded, cold etc etc... Live for the moment and don't let the past ruin what could be an amazing time with someone else! Good luck... x

[Prudentia]

move on, quickly, fishes and sea come to mind

[Xenon101]

Thanks all. Some good words shared. It is difficult, and I probably realise now more than ever that she was the one for me, but realise it's a two way thing. I personally reckon you can work on the buzz. She is a decent girl though and I can't really hate her. Part of me wants her to miss me a bit and realise it wasn't so bad. Just hope she doesn't find anyone else too soon! Onwards and upwards me thinks!