Violence Towards my Boss

[ivehaduremum]

i was just wondering if anyone has lashed out at their boss at work? I work in a small office and he is like a school teacher and keeps putting me down which is really getting to me.  Yesterday he made me feel so small and upset that I stood up and gave him a good slap round the head, i am now at home suspended.  I know i will get sacked when i go back in but do u think i could ask him for a reference for my next job or would it be a bit cheeky?

[FP]

Personally, I wouldn't dare ask him for a reference!

[banjo]

Well, you can ask him for a reference, but do bear in mind that he wouldn't be obliged to say good things about you.  Many references ask why the employee left that job, so in your case, the potential new employer probably wouldn't be overly keen. 

I'd say it'd be in your best interests not to ask him.

[ivehaduremum]

Does it make any difference that my boss is an alcoholic?

[FP]

Not really.  Hitting people is assault and is criminal whatever problems they may have!  Your best bet is to apologise profusely to your boss.  Tread very carefully.

[ivehaduremum]

I understand that I went a bit far by hitting him but I have heard him bragging down the pub about how he has been letting himself into his 90 year old neighbours house with her spare key and stealing part of her pension to fuel his alcohol problem.  Every time we go to the pub on lunch or after work he makes me buy him drinks and then gets at me when we get back to work.  Now can anyone see why I lashed out?

[Scullywoo]

Your boss is obviously a bully and took enjoyment from taunting you and bringing you down.  Understandly violence doesn't solve anything and you lashing out has not helped your situation.  I believe you should've made a formal complaint about the situation to HR.  You can still explain why you lashed out and tell them about what an awful working environment you have had to endure.  A reference cannot state negative points about a previous employ, however, after this they may not write a glittering one to your new employee.  I suggest you make it known how he manages his staff.  Good luck!

[ivehaduremum]

I cant go to HR because he made a pass on the HR manager at the christmas party last year and when she tried to seek help he found out and blackmailed her saying if she told anyone he would make her life living hell.  So he has control over her too. 

[smudge]

ivehaduremum - (would love to know the meaning of your username)?

I used to hire & unfortunately have to fire people (on the very rare occasion). If their dismissal was for misconduct, I certainly wouldn't have issued a reference. If then a future employer contacted me asking for a verbal reference, I would simply say that I was not prepared to give one. That way, they would then have to ask their prospective employee the reason/s they were dismissed & from that, make up their own minds as to whether they wished to employ them.

Anyway, although I do not condone your lashing out at your Boss, I do feel for you. It is very easy for people who bully, to antagonise you to the point of retaliation. Then if you do retaliate, it can end up looking like it was your fault!  Have you considered contacting ACAS or a Solicitor? You could explain the situation to them & ask for their professional advice.

 

In hindsight, it might have been best not to have gone to the pub with him at lunch-times. Mixing business with pleasure is not 'always' a good thing.

 

The other comments you have made regarding your boss being an alcoholic & him bragging about breaking into a house, could be classed as hearsay. By all means mention this to a professional person, but they probably wouldn't take it further, unless of course they had 100% proof. The same would apply if you reported him to the police. Good luck.

[smudge]

I returned twice each time,  but all the paragraphs didn't appear - perhaps I ran out of space?

[Laura-sakura]

Dosen't any one else think this guy is taking the pi55? What small office has an HR department!

[becks]

Just to clarify your boss isn't leagally allowed to write bad things about you in a reference, however he isn't obliged to write one so he may well refuse which says more than writing a bad one. It's like my mum used to say 'if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all'.  I feel like whacking my boss sometimes to be fair, always managed to restrain myself though...

[Miss Zippy]

If I believed such a character existed � alcoholic, stealing from a pensioner, blackmailer, woman abuser � I�d say he missed his vocation.  He should be in politics.

[ivehaduremum]

excuse me laura-sakura but just coz my office is small doesnt mean that the company is small.  actually the room (office) i work in is about 25 feet by 25 feet and the company has over 250 staff, so dont go throwing false accusations about. i am not here to deceive people i am here to get advice.

[Ahmed]

Don't worry mate. It's very normal for the users of this website to make wild assumptions and go off topic.

You get used to it.

I think you were right to hit your boss in the face with a bottle :-)

[ivehaduremum]

He has just called me at home and said he wants me in on friday to see him and the MD to discuss my future at the company.  He has also said that if i tell the MD anything bad about him he knows where I live and he will sort me out. what the hell should i do now. he is such a bully and people need to know how he has treated me.

[Ahmed]

Excuse my last post. I was in a funny mood.

 

A couple of years ago I had a boss who ocasionaly called me a p@ki in front of my work collegues. I let it go a few time, but then decided that I's had enough. So I reported him to his boss and HR, and within a month, he was sacked for inappropriate behaviour in the workplace. It turned out that mine wasn't the first complaint against him for racial reasons.

You need to take this matter higher. Speak to his boss immediately. Good luck

[ivehaduremum]

thank you for your comment Ahmed but in this case he is not being racist just rude and horrible to me, the things he does like boozing and robbing houses is not work related so i feel i have no real case against him. 

[bernardo]

If he has been making threats against you and saying that he "knows where you live" etc, and if he has bween stealing from his neighbour's house, then that would be a matter for the police.

[ivehaduremum]

but as someone said earlier I have no proof of anything and it will just be my word against his. oh what am i to do??