how do i get over him?

[baggysenior]

hi, i post so many questions on here because i fail to know how to see things in an a rational light, and you guys help me. my relationship with my partner hasnt been smooth running(look at my previous posts) we've been stuggling to have private time recently because his 15yr old daughter moved in with him. on fri he said he'd come over and stop overnight, at mine but he wouldnt beable to come until 10pm because he was watching a bbc drama! so i messaged him nicely and said 'honey, im not back from work yet (8pm) and by the time i got home and sorted out my 2yr old who'd just been sick i'd be pooped, so i said could we postpone it? then i realised how bad that sounded and said i'd love him to come over at whatever time as i missed him so much and i'd bought in a nice breakfast to cook for him the following morning. he ignored this message and several other ones telling him i loved him and wanted him etc. then i got a message back saying im fed up of your negativity and bull i was looking forward to seeing you but im peed off with u im going to bed maybe speak tomorrow. he didn't, so i presume its over. i feel so sad i cant eat or sleep and just keep blaming myself, even though i did everything in my power to say sorry. my last text to him just said, i'm sorry for everything i will no longer chase you. i called him 3 times on fri (all ignored) and left nice messages and 5 nice text messages. He said he loved me and i dont think he was planning to finish it because he was discussing our future on the previous day! how do i get over heart break, im so lonely. i have enough pride not to contact him now. my self esteem has plummeted. Why has he done this and how can i move on? i'm crying as i type this question!! somebody please give me some words of wisdom. thankyou thankyou thankyou.

[sara3]

I think you send hasty texts without giving it much thought, and now it's a bit late... apologies are one thing, but acting indifferent one minute, and over-clingy the next would probably be enough to scare most men off.

if he had stayed overnight, where would his 15 year old daughter be?

[baggysenior]

perhaps i acted over clingy that night but i generally am not that type of person, i just panicked. i havent contacted him since so i dont think thats being over clingy.
his daughter was going to stay on her own. Thankyou for taking the time to answer my question :-)

[pericat]

Maybe he just needs you to pull back a little (not act indifferently) so he can get his head around his daughter moving in with him - this is very hard to do - try fill your time up and keep occupied and dont send that first text as it is hard to stop then - the nature of texts being that we can see what we said and we try to amend it and correct it and when we dont get an answer it seems maybe worse than it is. Keep strong

[baggysenior]

thankyou so much pericat, i guess your words are the ones i need to hear. I'm hurting so much and i feel a terrible amount of guilt for feeling so sad when others have so much more to be down about, ie illness, death etc. i will listen to you and i won't text him. although i do wonder whether he'll ever get in touch with me again .if i only knew what he was thinking. thankyou once again xx

[pericat]

baggysenior - do not ever feel guilty for how you feel - everything is relative - and anytime you need to ask or even have a moan someone on here will always listen to you. Chin up

[baggysenior]

thankyou very much pericat :-) xx