Teenage daughter row

[Barney's pal]

I had a stupid argument with my fifteenyear old daughter. She is not talking (2 Days) and is always threatening to go and live with my ex husband and its tearing me apart. Shes normally a good kid but was really rude and horrible to me because I cooked her tea and it wasn't how she liked it. She has gone to stay with my ex when we've rowed before, but she knew it hurt me deeply and she has a tiny room there compared to here so she came home. Also she has to fit in with her step brothers, here she gets my sole attention. To tell the truth I am afraid of my ex. He can be verbally very abusive and threatening to me. He never backs me up over my daughter and when she's been there she makes fun of me and derides me for begging her to come home. I just feel shattered by the whole thing

[ummmm]

Oh dear...hasn't she got you under her thumb?

When my son threatened to leave I packed his bags for him...!!

[TTG]

She makes fun of you and derides you? I would not have her back until she apologises. Don't back down...be strong and stand up for yourself.

[Sqad]

Haven't we dealt with this before in a previous thread?

[ummmm]

Well from the question this is not the first time....

[dothawkes31]

Tell her to cook her own tea in furture, cheeky madam.,

[Nosha123]

aaah please dont worry.... you are looking at this through a 'mothers eyes' and she is just being a moddy sulky little so - and - so....

Maybe she had a bad day at school and she took it out on you - teenagers often will.. Its likely she is actually upset about something completely different and not the dinner at all - as thats just not rational behaviour.

You could try talking her round - treat her a bit more like a grown up and explain that you think her behaviour was rude - but that isnt normally her nature so you were worried something else might have been upsetting her.

If she wont talk to you - write her a little heartfelt note - and ask her to write back to you if she feels she cant talk about it.

then say - that you are both mature enough to put it behind you and forget about it - after all - if you dont have each other.. what else is there!

Try to talk to her on a more adult level.

Failing that - tell her to cook her own effing dinner! ;-)

Please dont worry - teenagers are irrational bundles of raging hormones!!!

[ummmm]

I don't mean to disagree with you Nosha but my daughter wouldn't dare behave in such a manner. This girl sounds like she has no respect. Respect is something taught to the child by the adult. Act like a doormat and you will be treated as one.

I wouldn't let her back until she has learnt the grass isn't greener...I did that with my son.

[LoftyLottie]

She's 15 . A really awful age so please don't think too badly of her. She's not got it easy and she is still only a child. 15 is tough for anybody and particularly tough for a young girl in her situation. She is playing you and your ex against each other for her own ends. You are the adult and you have to rise above it. Don't give into her every whim just to keep her at home. If she goes off to your ex husband then let her and don't beg her to come back, but be there for her if she does come back. Be strict but let her know you love her. She will grow up.

[LoftyLottie]

My son is the most respectful person I know, to us his parents, and to others, but at 14/15 he thought he knew it all -not much respect at all - we got through it!! Parents have to be thick skinned and broad shouldered!

[LoftyLottie]

Well thanks Dr. Captain Vibrasphere. Just tell Mr LL that! ;o)

[Sqad]

vibra........oh! my God....what have you said........./////Lottie speaks a lot of sense ( as ever ),///////

You will never shut her up now.........and poor MrLL will get a right "ear wagging" ;-)

[LoftyLottie]

LOL Sqad.

[Sqad]

Lofty....marry me,

[LoftyLottie]

No

[Sqad]

lofty...yeah, that's what they all say........at first..........only a matter of time.

[Bbbananas]

I will sqad - though we would both be bigamists...
We could give an interview to the News of the World .

[Sqad]

salla....you are a real man's woman.

By the way salla, I am glad that you are here, a bit of advice...........over the past 3 weeks or so, Lofty has started to be nice to me and i don't know how to handle it......you being a woman might have some advice?