Lies...how much is too much?

[kikadoo]

Hey guys,

A questions about lying, liars and how much is too much.

I have been thinking lately about lies (largely due to my partner telling lie after lie about small insignificant things), but do any of you put up with people telling lies? And if so, how much is too much?
Do you one day wake up and think "no more!" or do you just go with the flow?

My partner appears to be a compulsive liar about so many stupid small things. I have got to the point where I am considering leaving him because of it. To me I am at the end of the road. I am going by the good old motto...."if he's lying about this then what else is he lying about etc". Especially since we used to have such an open and honest relationship. We could literally talk about anything and not be offended, disturbed or embarrassed!

I am worried that maybe I am being too harsh and that I should just accept porkies? Even if I challenge him with outstanding evidence he'll still blindingly deny their is a lie anywhere. But on the other hand, I worry i'll one day just either believe anything he'll say or become 'numb'.
He would make a good politician. I'll give him that one!

Is/has anyone been in the same situation?

I can understand telling a few porkies but like i said, its got to the point where its just too often.

How much is too much?

Thanks all, for the help in advance! x

[naomi24]

Sara, my first husband went to see a professional - and he lied to him too.

Sqad, I absolutely detest lies. If the subject is something I'd rather not talk about, I say nothing.

[Sqad]

sara...in the context of the question......infidelity is synonymous with lying.

Then posters widened the subject of lying and hence my question.

[ummmm]

We don't all cheat Sqad....

[cherrychapstick]

not saying that i have never lied ,i did used to when i was a child so i would be lying if i said no i haven't,i don't lie about anything to my partner i say it how it is ,that's just me ,like he will go to his parents and have tea/dinner and eat it all and say it's lovely ,even if he is not well at the thought of it ,i couldn't do that i would have to say it's not nice so whoever made it wouldn't make it again so i suppose for my own sanity that's why i don't lie

[Sqad]

kikadoo.....you haven't told us if you lie.

ummmm.sara....my glasses are on.

///if he's lying about this then what else is he lying about etc///

What do you think kikadoo is implying by that remark?

[kikadoo]

Could be Tullia2. We have only been together about a year and a half, if that. I don't recall him being like this in the beginning.

And Sqad, I don't believe he has been unfaithful to me at all.
I struggle to believe everything he has said but I do strongly believe he hasn't been unfaithful.
And yes I have lied, small lies but lies none the less. Fibs? For example, "your a good cook!" lol

Thanks guys for all your answers and advice :)

[ummmm]

That he would find easy to lie about infidelity.

That still isn't the question though. (sent you an email Sqad)

[tamborine]

Generally women dont cheat as they're bogged down with kids/home/family life. Whereas most men do cheat - if he's attractive to you he's attractive to other women!

He has the freedom & time to indulge himself with the bar-lady/secretary/baby-sitter/cybers etc. Women love family men, especially successful men; you just proved that by responding to the RR......you didn't question what the wife would think of your borrowing the RR.

[cazzz1975]

maybe you should ask him why he feels the need to keep lying to you? or call him on it when he does it if you know its a lie, then ask why he is doing it.

sometimes these things can become habitual, if he is aware that you know he is lying he may be less inclined to invent more rubbish.

[ummmm]

What's 'RR'????

[cazzz1975]

"Whereas most men do cheat"

nice generilisation there tambo..

[Sqad]

We have now got down to admissions of "little ones" "fibs" but aren't they all lies?

[cherrychapstick]

rolls royce

[cherrychapstick]

yes they are sqad ,a lie is a lie

[vulcan]

It's all semantics sqad, "They lie, I fib".

[tamborine]

lies dont occur between lovers/loved i.e. does your child lie or fib?

RR = rolls royce

[Sqad]

vulcan....absolutely correct.

If you are going to lie, then make it a big one, as then you are more likely to be believed.

[kikadoo]

Well cazzz1975, I have called him on it before. He just point blank refuses to acknowledge it. I guess thats the real reason I am at the point of breaking it off with him. I don't want to spend the rest of my days with someone who won't speak the truth and acts like he's hiding things from his mummy.
It angers me to know that I have always encouraged honesty and am willing to talk about anything with him. Yet he is throwing it away.

ummmm, RR is the Rolls Royce from the previous post/answer.

[cazzz1975]

like a lot of tall stories you read on answerbank, make it a big work of fiction ;)