You've had a ghastly experience on top of a series of dreadful life events. Who wouldn't be feeling shaky, weepy, utterly miserable ? Don't beat yourself up about it on top of everything else.
Other than try to look after yourself, rest if you can, get help if you can, there really is not a lot you can do just now. Try to let the worst of this wash over you rather than trying to 'deal with' it just now. Plenty of time to be doing that later.
If you feel like crying, cry. if you feel like wailing, wail. You're entitled.
Once you have got more of a handle on your feelings, you can star trying to somehow make things better for yourself, but not yet. It's too soon.
My best to you,
ladyalex :-))