Wedding help from parents

[Chasingcars]

My parents offered last year to give £500 to my fiance and I for our wedding this year. They dont have a lot of money so this was a really sweet thought. At the time my mum said she would pay it 'later in the year' and when we got towards Christmas, I had to politley ask 'when' as we were trying to juggle various mony for the wedding. She promised 'after Christmas' and then 'February' and when nothing happend I left it. But, we are now 1 week from the wedding so again last week I was put in akward situation of politly asking if she was stil wanting to contribute. She said she would pay the money into our account this week - she did this yesterday and she text me to say it was £200. Without sounding ungrateful, and I know a lot of people think I am, but originally she has said she would contribute £500 so we now find ourselves £300 short. If she said from the start the lower amount then it wouldnt have been a problem but all our budgeting has been done with £500 in mind. I know £300 may not seem a lot to some people but we have saved hard for 18 months withour borrowing any money and dont have any more money to add ourselves. I have thanked my mum, but should I ask her about the rest, but how do i do that without appearing ungrateful or rude??

[B00]

You can't im afraid.

I personally wouldn't ask for the remaining £300, she's obviously given what they can afford and to remind her about the other £200 would only embarrass you both further.

[lotsafun]

without sounding like im having a go at you because im not intending to do that, i would sy just gratefully accept the £200 and leave it at that. By the sounds of what youve said your parents have obviously struggled to get that together and im sure they feel that theyve let you down a bit by not honouring there 1st first offer.
At the end of the day its your wedding and your responsibility to pay for the things you want for it, any money from another source should be concidered a gift and gratefully recieved and to ask for more would be extremely rude. Cant you make any cutbacks? do you really need the fancy flowers, cars etc?

[Chasingcars]

Thanks for both your comments. Lotsafun- I agree, we said from the start we would pay for everything and thats we have done. It was only when the offer was made of the extra £500 we built that into our budget, With only 1 week to the wedding, there are no cutbacks we can make so late in the day. Had it been a couple of months to go then yes possibly, but most of the final payments are being made in a few days hence the akwardness of the situation. I did think that maybe they had struggled and if thats the case, then yes I agree, not to raise the subject again. On the other hand, they have just enrolled in another set of dance classes, been renovating the garden, been buying a lot of new clothes which does suggest they are not struggling as i thought they may be. Parents are retired and dad does work now and then and I know has chosen to turn work down which again suggests they are not short. Its not for me to say what they should spend their money on -it really is because its the 11th hour which has left us in a bit of a situation. Had we known this at the start or even 6 months ago we could have changed things slightly. The £500 was actually towards my dress. It was my mum suggested i go for the more expensive one and she would pay the difference that i went for it. Had i known that wasnt forthcoming then of course i would have gone for a cheaper option! :)

[lotsafun]

hhhmmmm its a toughy, i think the best option then would be to ask to borrow the remainder money from your parents and see if they can help in that way, obviously if they say they cant then you will know for sure that they must've struggled to get that money together in the first place. If that fails is there anyone else you can borrow off?
I do hope you get it sorted as the run up to a wedding is stressful enough without having this prediciment so late in the day to deal with too. I think you will have to put this down to bad experience and in future and not to rely on anyone else but yourselves when it comes to money, even when they do offer to help out. dont take offers at face value unless you actually have the money in your hand.
good luck chasingcars and i hope you have a lovely day regardless xxx

[Chasingcars]

Yeah I think you are right, though as we havnt asked people for gifts as such, just contributions towards honeymoon, hopefully we can make up the shortfall that way. My mum and dad have since given us a wrapped up gift with an envelope so my other half said they may have put the other money in there. Either way, we will just learn from this and as you say wait until we have the money next time - not that there will be a next time, so to speak! Thanks very much for your best wishes, if everyone could now ask for sunshine a week tomorrow then that would be great! xx

[society]

Congratulations to you and your spouse to be Chasingcars!
And your wish is granted, there will be sunshine. :-) God bless.