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Handshakes for the Ladies? in The AnswerBank: Body & Soul
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Handshakes for the Ladies?

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doghandler | 07:56 Tue 18th Jan 2005 | Body & Soul
9 Answers

Does anyone know the correct etiquette for shaking a lady's hand? (from a man that is!)

The reason i ask is that i am not sure what to do, i assume it should be gentle, and i note they normaly only offer a few fingers. I always think they are expecting me to kiss the back of their hand! I end up giving their hand a feeble squeeze and sense that they are left bewildered!

When it comes to a male, i try to give a firm handshake but find myself returning a weak attempt when the recipient's is weak - why?

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As a woman - I must say I prefer a firm handshake with no squeeze.  Noting worse than a weak handshake with a squeeze included - yuk, slimey, sleazy.
Agreed with above.  As for as kissing hands, as far as I know it is very old fashioned and I doubt anyone expects it any more, but I believe it was supposed to be married ladies only.
I would shake hands, lifting the lady's hand once, moving it back down and releasing it, with a firm grip, but not a squeeze. I'd be inclinded to do the same for a man as well. I work in the music industry as a writer, where meeting anyone of either sex is always done with a handshake, and this seems to be the chosen method of most people.
there are 3 basic attitudes and one of 3 is subconsciously transmitted when you shake hands, firstly there is dominance then submission and then equality - you may when returning a weak handshake be subconsciously unwilling to dominate the other person, also people who use their hands in their work ie an artist, musician or surgeon tend to give limp hand shakes in order to protect their hands and you may instinctively pick up on this.
As a woman, I prefer a firm handshake to a weak dead fish handshake.
Question Author

Thanks for your replies up to now, but reading them I am left with another question;

What is the difference between firm and a squeeze?

Surely 'firm' would mean a good grip which could be classed as a squeeze?

I am suprised, however, to see that the general feeling is that the handshake should be the same for both men and women, call me old fashioned, but i assumed that women should be treated more gently.

This is, of course, why I posted the question in the first place. Thanks again for the replies.

-- answer removed --
All right , you asked , so I'll do it  -  you're old fashioned.
me and my freinds (girls) have had this discussion before and we HATE feeble handshakes off men. yuk! a nice firm couple of shakes is about right. don't be scared! ;-)
Men do it standing up, women sitting down and dogs on three legs. Shaking hands that is.

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