Summer Classes for Women

[McMouse]

Class 1 Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.


Class 2 Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.

Class 3 Is It Possible To Drive Past a clothes shop without Stopping? Group Debate.

Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.


Class 5 Curling Irons--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.

Class 6 How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Class 7 Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum.

Class 8
Health Watch--They Make Medicine for PMT - USE IT!

Class 9 I Was Wrong and He Was Right!--Real Life Testimonials.


Class 10 How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.

Class 11
Learning to Live--How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield .


Class 12 How to Shop by Yourself.


Upon completion of ANY of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

[Bbbananas]

Wife woke up on the wrong side of someone else's bed this morning McM??!!

[rowanwitch]

Add: 13 How to commit murder and get away with it.....lecturer MRs McMouse

[mollykins]

Dad just leaves the seat down and wees on it so 2 makes no difference.

I hate people that talk during a programme.

I can parallel park a boat (sail or power), does that count?

I often shop by myself, my mum will randomly go to town so i'll go aswell but it's only for an hour.

[jackthehat]

Summer classes for men..............

1. Combating Stupidity
2. You, too, can do housework
3. PMS -- Learn when to keep your mouth shut.
4. How to fill an ice tray
5. We do not want sleazy underthings for Christmas -- Give us money
6. Understanding the female response to your coming in drunk at 4:00am
7. Wonderful laundry techniques (formerly titled "Don't wash my silks")
8. Parenting -- No, it doesn't end with conception
9. Get a life -- learn to cook
10. How not to act like an berk when you're obviously wrong.
11. Spelling -- Even you can get it right
12. Understanding your financial incompetence
13. You -- The Weaker Sex
14. Reasons to give flowers
15. How to stay awake after sex
16. Why it is unacceptable to relieve yourself anywhere but the bathroom
17. Garbage -- Getting it to the kerb
18. You can fall asleep without "It" if you really try
19. The morning dilemma if "It's" awake. Take a shower
20. I'll wear it if I damn well please
21. How to put the toilet lid down (formerly "No, it's not a bidet")
22. "The weekend" and "sports" are not synonyms
23. Give me a break! Why we know your excuses are BS
24. How to go shopping with your mate and not get lost
25. The remote control -- Overcoming your dependency
26. Romanticism - Ideas other than sex
27. Helpful postural hints for couch potatoes
28. Mother-in-laws -- They are people, too
29. Male bonding -- Leaving your friends at home
30. You too can be a designated driver
31. Seeing the true you (formerly "No, you don't look like Mel Gibson, especially when naked!")
32. Changing your underwear -- It really works.
33. Techniques for ringing home.

[joeluke]

Why is the 'leaving the toilet seat up' thing such a big deal for women?

It is actually women who leave the seat DOWN which is the problem!

[mccfluff]

they make medicine for PMT?????

[rowanwitch]

Not a problem in my house, unless male friends come to visit then we designate the loos male and female so the ladies don't end up sitting on a wet seat...uuuugggghhh

[DEN53]

Known Fact - men just can't multi task.

No. 34 - How to wash your hands after visiting the loo.

[mccfluff]

i don't get the loo seat thing it takes second to put it back down, not really a big deal

[joeluke]

One for the women

Just because we say we really enjoyed a certain meal/sandwich does not mean we want it twice a week for the rest of our lives

[joeluke]

The loo seat thing

Would women rather enter the loo and find:

(a) the seat up but no mess

or

(b) the seat down covered in pish?



Putting the seat back down is not an option which is programmed into our male brains I'm afraid ladies

[annie0000]

My OH always puts the loo seat and lid down when at the loo and taught my sons' to as well - if you flush with the lid up then microscopic bits of wee and/or poo get fired everywhere.

Now I need to teach them all to do it quietly instead of firing the seat down with a clatter - maybe I will invest in some of those soft close toilet seats.

[jackthehat]

In our house the lid is *always* closed prior to flushing.
This means that anyone paying a visit has to lift either one or two 'covers' and close them/it again...........

[mccfluff]

i mean it doesn;t bother me if its left up or down

[snags]

The 'seat up, seat down' thing wouldn't be an issue with a 'squatty bog'...

[McMouse]

Stretching cling-film over the toilet bowl and then lowering the seat and lid is not to be recommended. When he was a teenager my son did this and upset his mother no end.

[lankeela]

I hate going into a toilet and seeing the lid down - makes me think they are trying to hide the fact that they have left a big logger in there.

[rowanwitch]

It is good feng shui to have the cover lid down.......