Spectator - Christmas Crossword -...
Crosswords3 mins ago
What are the real reasons why men leave with no explanation?
28 Answers
You should know before continuing I can not spell.
This man was and is a likable person. He would enter a room and captivate everyone in such a subtle way. His presence was not overwhelming, loud or demanding, it was comfortable. He was funny, talented, very handsome and humble. Everybody liked him.
I fell in love with him of course almost immediately and so began two years of running into each other here and there sharing sweet flirtations. It was clear he was physically attracted but did not want a relationship. I would have obliged him on those terms but he never took advantage.
Then after a year of not being in touch we become friends again and we were some what a couple, (we lived many hours away from eachother), but we had frequent visits, I met his parents--even spent a weekend with them.
In March we were planning a visit but it was complicated for me schedule wise so nothing came of it.
Then fewer and fewer phone calls. I was also having a bit of trouble personally, he didn't inquire and I did not say anything, but he knew. Very crappy of him, not in character as well.
Then he stopped calling, I would not want to call but would give in maybe once a month. Last phone call, his friend answered and told him I was on the line and he told his friend to tell me he was not home. All of which was intended for me to hear.
It's over. I just need to know why, the more insulting and cruel the better, that way I can not want to associate with him ever again, as well.
You should know, he hasn't had many serious girlfriends, or experience and he is entirely heterosexual , with most likely anxiety about performance. I have a good amount of experience which he correctly assumed without ever asking. He also is from a happy home and loved by his family.
This man was and is a likable person. He would enter a room and captivate everyone in such a subtle way. His presence was not overwhelming, loud or demanding, it was comfortable. He was funny, talented, very handsome and humble. Everybody liked him.
I fell in love with him of course almost immediately and so began two years of running into each other here and there sharing sweet flirtations. It was clear he was physically attracted but did not want a relationship. I would have obliged him on those terms but he never took advantage.
Then after a year of not being in touch we become friends again and we were some what a couple, (we lived many hours away from eachother), but we had frequent visits, I met his parents--even spent a weekend with them.
In March we were planning a visit but it was complicated for me schedule wise so nothing came of it.
Then fewer and fewer phone calls. I was also having a bit of trouble personally, he didn't inquire and I did not say anything, but he knew. Very crappy of him, not in character as well.
Then he stopped calling, I would not want to call but would give in maybe once a month. Last phone call, his friend answered and told him I was on the line and he told his friend to tell me he was not home. All of which was intended for me to hear.
It's over. I just need to know why, the more insulting and cruel the better, that way I can not want to associate with him ever again, as well.
You should know, he hasn't had many serious girlfriends, or experience and he is entirely heterosexual , with most likely anxiety about performance. I have a good amount of experience which he correctly assumed without ever asking. He also is from a happy home and loved by his family.
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Wolf you sound a bit touchy on the subject-angry. I know for a fact he has not been with other women, infact not that many women at all. Settle? I do have some qualities that are of value equal to his. Why do you assume otherwise? I am asking for another reason besides I was not good enough, precisely because I can only think the same thing. But surely that can not be the entire answer, it takes two...no?
Sometimes the chemistry is not right between two people, but it is impossible to explain why.
You end up with the "it's not you, it's me" conversation.
He is too much of a coward to have this painful and fruitless conversation, so is taking the running away option.
Just shrug your shoulders and walk away with your head held high. There is someone better out there for you.
You end up with the "it's not you, it's me" conversation.
He is too much of a coward to have this painful and fruitless conversation, so is taking the running away option.
Just shrug your shoulders and walk away with your head held high. There is someone better out there for you.
If he doesn't want to see you or have any dealing with you, then just leave it and put it down to experience. It doesn't sound as if he's gone out of his way to seek you out - so maybe he wasn't really that interested, a charismatic man can make everyone feel good. Draw a line under it, you may never know the reasons behind and you can't let this keep nagging away at you. Move on. Whay should you want him to insult you with reasons, then you can feel resentful against him? Move on with dignity, don't have anything more to do with him - make it your decision, not his, to end contact.
Sqad - I thought she was talking about you from that first paragraph, lucky you posted - I was just about to tell her you were married!
Biddy 1 opinion:
Maybe he is just very shallow and can't be bothered to deal with the "baggage" another person brings with them. He is happy when all is easy but when the reality of fitting things in and life's problems occur - he's off.
Why didn't you tell him about your problems "he didn't inquire and I did not say anything" ? Maybe he simply got the wrong end of the stick and thought you were up to something but then he could of asked if he cared.
Biddy 1 opinion:
Maybe he is just very shallow and can't be bothered to deal with the "baggage" another person brings with them. He is happy when all is easy but when the reality of fitting things in and life's problems occur - he's off.
Why didn't you tell him about your problems "he didn't inquire and I did not say anything" ? Maybe he simply got the wrong end of the stick and thought you were up to something but then he could of asked if he cared.
Thank you for your responses. When I read my question and your answers it all seems so painfully obvious. I know these things but it has been very hard to actually believe what I know. Really your have my most sincere thanks.
I could not sleep and googled around until I happened upon this website. I'm so glad I did. I'm hooked. What a good idea for a website. Kudos.
I could not sleep and googled around until I happened upon this website. I'm so glad I did. I'm hooked. What a good idea for a website. Kudos.
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