Being in a relationship

[secretagentman]

Is anyone truly happy when when they are single? Im not talking about someone that has just came out a difficult or abusive relationship or those that are single but have thousands of friends and do quite a bit of socializing Im just talking about people that are just generally happier on their own. They prefer to go cinema shopping etc my themselves. Is this a little weird or result from some kind of childhood trauma maybe?

[ummmm]

I was always happy single. I have never looked for a relationship which I think is one of the reasons I've nearly always been in one.

I don't need a man for anything. I like being me, have my own money (thanks Uncle Paddy), have my own mind, friends (although we share many from before we got together) great family..what more does anyone need?

[Greedyfly]

I am in a relationship and I enjoy doing those things alone. I like going to the cinema alone, I shop alone etc... I was always a loner as a child. And if I hadn't met my fella when I did I am positive I would still be single now.

I like being on my own for the most part. Don't get me wrong I am glad I have my O/H around and he has been with me a long time now but I also like my own space. In response to childhood trauma, I had a pretty crappy childhood and I do honestly thing that has resulted in me being who I am today. I am strong minded, confident, don't rely on people in general. But at the same time I find it very hard to make friends and I am the least tactile person I know. The way we are brought up doe shave a big effect on who we are now.

But I don't see anything wrong in people wanting their own space and time.

[Sqad]

ummmm

////I don't need a man for anything///

But do you want a man?

[Greedyfly]

Well Ummm has a man so I am assuming she wants him lol

[ummmm]

I have one Sqad. I don't 'need' him though. Although my life would be pretty dull without him around. He's the funniest person I've ever met.

[secretagentman]

Greedyfly you don't see nothing wrong with someone spending all day every day alone for years on end without no friends or social interaction? Is that healthy or do you then start losing your social skills and becoming a bit of a recluse which then further hampers your efforts to maintain or even start a relationship or friendship?

[ummmm]

Greedy has a poorly ankle so I think she is talking about the here and now.

[Old_Geezer]

Being single or being in a partnerships both has its pros and cons. One can get stuck feeling one state or the other is necessary for you.

You can keep thinking the grass is greener on the other side, or conversely fear changing from one state to the other. Fact is some folk are happier in a relationship where they can share their life, while others prefer to avoid the continuous compromise and keep social type activity to set 'meetings'.

[ummmm]

That's where being with the right person comes in handy. Not much compromising going on.

[secretagentman]

Og whats the rough percentage of those that like to be in a relationship and those that prefer to be single and alone, surely it would be something like 85%-15% ?

[Old_Geezer]

I'm unsure denigrating those who want something different to yourself is the right thing to do. It isn't weird, or the result of trauma causing a mental problem, as is implied. Any more than wanting to be in a relationship is a metal problem causing clingyness.

[bednobs]

being single dosen't mean you have no friends and you are all alone

[Greedyfly]

I think different things for different people. I could quite happily spend my entire life alone. I don't need people, I find them often quite irritating.

That's just who I am. As Ummmmm says I have been cooped up for the year or so due to an ankle injury and I have times when I feel like I am going stir crazy but as a whole I don't see why people need to be so dependant on other people to get through life?!

It is virtually impossible for people to spend time alone for years on end with NO social interaction.

[secretagentman]

I'll agree with you there og. There is definitely a thin line which often overlaps between happy in a relationship and clinginess.

[Old_Geezer]

I have no idea of percentages, you'd have to look them up. But since many will have been raised in a family situation it would hardly be surprising if the numbers are skewed towards wanting the same sort of thing when older. But some will find it isn't necessary for them.

[LoftyLottie]

I have been in a relationship for the last 38 years. However, I could cope without being in a relationship and would never seek another one if this one were to end. I have a few close friends and lots of aquaintances and like to see them,but I can also be happy on my own for days on end and am also happy to shop on my own, etc.

I can never understand people who have to be in a relationship.

[secretagentman]

Bednobs please read my question again "or those that are single but have thousands of friends and do quite a bit of socializing Im just talking about people that are just generally happier on their own. They prefer to go cinema shopping etc my themselves"

These are exactly the people I'm talking about in my question.

[snags]

Being alone does not mean being lonely...

[ummmm]

I love being on my own. I could happily be a recluse but my family is just too big and they invade.

OH doesn't really count....he's a male version of me.

[Greedyfly]

My relationship has been going on for nine or so years and we do what we want when we want. We spend time together (more so since my ankle problems) and we spend time doing our own thing. I cannot stand clinginess or tactile people. Some people are better off alone, I truly believe that. Most are not.