Why Football Grounds Are Like Women

PokerMan | 16:51 Mon 09th Aug 2010 | Jokes

6 Answers

- there is a vast difference in grounds with regards to length and width, thus varying the quality of play
- pitches vary from the well grassed to the completley bald
- remember, it is possible to score at both ends
- tackling from behind is not always an offence, check with ground owner
- be careful, as after a few pints a ground appears to be of premiership standard, but in reality would not even be eligible as a council dumping ground
- dont ever make public your desires to play at Wembley, also never mention pitches previosly visited
- extra time is dependant on subsequent pitch bookings
- always ask before leaving the pitch and entering the tunnel, do not expect to be allowed to come straight from the tunnell to the goal mouth and score. that can leave an awful taste in the mouth of the pitch owner and may prevent further use of the ground
- it is illegal to play on small,unturfed pitches
- Bulgarian grounds are frequently more grassy
- French grounds are frequently very nice too look at, however there can sometimes be an awful smell from the terraces which don't get hosed down as often as they should
- very few grounds are found with executive boxes
- always be on the lookout for grounds that host ladies footy two evenings a week
- pitches with a waterlogged end, can be out of bounds for up to 5 days a month, although this can be longer if u pi55 the owner off by continually asking to play up the good end instead
- players must agree personal terms with the club before being allowed to play on the turf
- always look for a ground that has never been played on before (or at least hasn't had many visits). that said, well used grounds may have better facilities and will really know how to get the best out of a player