Don't touch
There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he had never left it on its own. But he had to go on a business trip and leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbour. So he explained to his neighbour that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock. But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur.
So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, “Why can't I touch its fur?” as there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it. Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldn’t understand until, about a week later, he decided that he was going to touch the gorilla. He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur.
Suddenly the gorilla went ape and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into someone else's sports car and drove off. In the rear-view mirror, he could see the gorilla in its own sports car, driving right behind him. He drove for two hours until the engine began to splutter and the car just stopped. He jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone's front garden and up the apple tree.
He turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest. The man jumped down and ran back in to the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he had lost the gorilla.
The man ran into an alleyway then, suddenly, he saw a giant shadow coming down the street ahead. It came to the end of the alley, stood and looked straight into the bloodshot eyes of the man and came towards him slowly.
The giant beast came face to face with him, raised its mighty hand, touched him and said, “Got you, now it’s your turn to catch me.