Envy

[queries]

Can anyone give me some tips on not getting envious and wound up by other people when they go on about their houses/cars/holidays etc etc - I can get to work feeling on top of the world and have to listen people going on about their company car isn;t big enough or their latest house moeve etc etc and on a bad day I can feel so depressed and wonder why I bother carrying on.

[ummmm]

You'll just have to learn to be happy with what you've got.

[237SJ]

Most of it`s probably paid on credit anyway.

[mazie]

and also be pleased for others. It doesn't matter what they have it's making the most of what you've got that matters. There are a lot of people would be happy just to be healthy

[China Doll]

Trying acting pleased for people rather than focusing on how envious you feel. Probably not concentrating on negative thoughts about yourself will help you feel more positive in general.

[ummmm]

The thing is...you don't know if they're happy when they get home.

[anneasquith]

some people just like to boast about what they have, they usually are not the most content, dont waste any of your life being envious, because be assured you have something they wish to have, and it does not necessarily have to be a material possession.

[milly143]

I can sympathise with you a bit. I have a sister who is married, lives in a lovely flat in london and can afford to go on luxury holidays a few times a year but while I feel envious I feel happy for her that she is in a position to do that all through her own hard work.

On the other hand, I have people here at work who love nothing more than to show off the proceeds of their wealth and fortune and must have the latest and best of everything - however, I see the credit card bills and I know how much they all earn. Every item they own is on tick. Nothing to be envious of there.

[Rodge2]

When people get all these things they really only burden themselves with them. You know.. tyres and everything else for a BMW cost much more than for a standard hatchback, and once they get something, well they just want something else. People end up working every hour God sends just to keep up with the things they own. When I hear people bragging about what they have, I just think thank goodness that's not me and I'm content with simple things in life.

A really bad bout of serious illness tends to put these things where they belong - in perspective.

[queries]

Thank you all - shall put this into practice and come back into work on Monday with a new attitude! Have a lovely weekend everyone!

[ummmm]

My sister likes to boast to try and make people jealous. She'll try and drop into any conversation she can that they have two houses. What she fails to mention is hers is an ex council house on the Gaza Strip and his is a tiny little terrace that can barely fit four people in.

When people don't appear to care she's gets really annoyed...that makes me laugh...

[queries]

Like it Morarity!

[ummmm]

That's the thing though...she's not happy. She's not happy with herself and constantly tries to make herself feel better by boasting.

She hates me...because I'm happy :-))))

[Sqad]

You see something, you want to achieve something, you work hard to eventually achieve it, this has nothing to do with happiness, it is all to do with achievement and should be admired and not envied.

In my opinion 80% of people live beyond their means.......overdrawn, borrowing money, credit card overload...........it is the modern way of life for the majority.

If there is nothing that you want to own or achieve, that is find, but other people may have and are prepared to work for them......good on them too.

It is human to talk about your achievements and suppress or hide you failures.

[mazie]

"suppress or hide your failures. " I think this is more of a male trait sqad. Most women I know speak about any perceived failures they may have had...Most men dont

[Sqad]

mazie.......really?

[mazie]

Yes, sqad, honestly...

[pastafreak]

Having 'things' does not equal having happiness......which would you rather have?
If they are happy as a result of these 'things'-ok...if not,then count yourself lucky that you do not have them also. You can then continue to feel on top of the world.

[april1693]

At the end of a day, you should think of 5 things that you are grateful for that occurred during that day. Nothing big, just small things for example, finding a good parking space, arriving in work early enough to grab a cuppa, getting a compliment or even just a smile from someone you've helped etc. You will be surprised how uplifting this is, and you'll soon find that you don't really care or are envious of other peoples material things, because you are content and happy with YOUR life.

[carmalee]

IMHO +you are equating 'things' with happiness - achievement is good and satisfying but family and friends bring happiness - a lot of these people have things but they don't feel valued or worthwhile and are often up to their necks in debt.

[karenmac60]

You'll probably find that these people are buying things to try and fill a hole - and they feel the need to brag about them to cover their insecurities and the fact that they think they are not good enough in themselves, they have to make up for their own inadequacies by having shiny new possessions to cover them up. You have nothing to be jealous or envious about, and has already been said, they are probably in debt up to their eyeballs.