From letters sent to the council housing department:

annie0000 | 13:40 Fri 26th Nov 2010 | ChatterBank

8 Answers

I know these do the rounds from time to time, but just found this lot:

From letters sent to the Council Housing Department..............

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing on it.

2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just
can't take it anymore.

3. It's the dog mess that I find hard to swallow.

4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he
put his foot in the hole in his back passage.

6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

7. I wish to report that the tiles are missing from the outside toilet
roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

9. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

10. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

Death of Bernard Matthews announced

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annie0000

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11. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50 % are just plain filthy.

12. I am still having problems with smoke in my drawers.

13. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.

14 Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

15 Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a
third so please send someone round to do something about it.

18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy
my wife.

20. I have had the Clerk of Works down on the floor six times but still I have no satisfaction.

21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.

Bobbisox

brilliant annie, made me chuckle ,that lot did