It's mums' birthday next week..

[hippyhoppy]

and she popped her cloggs in Feb this year.. is it a bit odd to send dad a 'thinking of you card'.. can't call him as he's deaf, I live 300 miles away and work and school is a deblitating factor for visits (he doesn't know who I am when I Do go down there!!)...

[sherrardk]

Hi Hippy - hope you are ok, remembered that you lost your mother just before I did, hope you are bearing up ok and that this time of year is not too hard for you all.

[hippyhoppy]

thanks sherr.. Might get dad a card.. (not that he knows who I am!!)

[masma]

Send him a nice card with nice words and even if he doesn't understand what it's all about you'll feel better for having done something. Take time for yourself too. x

[eyethenkyew]

Is dad by any chance in a home? Are you by any chance feeling guilty for being so far from him?

Not wishing or trying to be "horrible", but I wouldn't be surprised if you answered "yes" to both questions. We're all only mere humans, aren't we?

What's the point in sending dad a card if he has dementia, as you have hinted at? He obviously won't be able to appreciate it, will he? So if you want to do it simply to try to ease any guilty conscience, if that indeed is your motive, I shouldn't bother.

These terrible things happen to loved ones but your love for dad is far more important than any card. Your own conscience is something which only you can deal with, though. But sending him cards cannot, sadly, improve his health. Just keep loving him for as long as you have him.

[Mamyalynne]

Just send him an 'I love you Dad' type of card if he is not very aware it will not cause any confusion.

Love to you too, first anniversaries are sore times. ♥

[ethandron]

when my sister died, i sent my 3 nieces a card on her birthday saying i was thinking of them and hoped they were remembering all the happy times they'd spent together on her birthday in the past. it wasn't a 'thinking of you' card, just a blank one with a nice picture on the front.
so no, i don't think it's odd. i think it shows you care. if someone sent you one i'm sure you'd be very touched wouldn't you?

[tigerlelly]

Even people with dementia are capable of appreciating a pretty card. I look after my mother-in-law and she can enjoy things 'in the moment' so why not?

[wolf63]

When my grand-dad was alive and had dementia there were certain foods that he recognised and loved to eat. Is there something that he likes and that you can post to him?

I dreaded the time that either of my parents had some type of dementia, I can barely look after me and the kitties so there was no chance that I could look after them. It never came to that - my mum died at 58 and my dad was fine mentally until the end.

It really is sad that we, as a society, allow people to live with such a dismal illness - there really has to be a solution. Don't know what it is though.

[looobylooo]

hi hippy,
its a nice sentiment to send your dad a card, i can understand you wanting to do something for your mums birthday.
i think mamyalynnes idea is the best - send him an 'i love you dad' card, i think that would be lovely.... :o)

my mum lost her dear mum 17 years ago, and every year since then ive bought my mum a little bunch of flowers on my nans birthday...
no words are ever said or needed as to why im giving her the flowers, she knows.. and just a kiss and a hug and a 'here you are mum' is enough... :o)