Dazed and confused. :-(

[Zammo]

I keep coming on here to get advice because in my book it helps so thank you to any of you that has helped in the past. I just need more advice on a past relationship that I'm struggling to put behind me. I was seeing this guy for a bit and I knew he liked me. The only thing he didn't like was the long distance but he couldn't fight it anymore and asked me out regardless. Everything was going well - he was even making plans with me for 3 months down the line then 3 weeks after he asked me to be his girlfriend, out of the blue, he finishes things on an email saying he "doesn't feel the way he should at this stage of the relationship" and that "he could never feel that way about me". That hurts but also I find it really hard to comprehend. I later find out he is back with his childhood sweetheart that has just moved back home, in other words, across the road. I then tell him I know why he finished with me and he swears that she had nothing to do with it but I don;t believe it because he finished with me on the Sunday night and she was at a wedding with him the following Saturday - one that I was supposed to go to with him....surely it couldn't have happened that quick. Plus even when I was going out with him I knew she was trying to get him back. :-(

[China Doll]

I don't see how wondering if she's got anything to do with it is going to achieve anything. You've split up, you can be sad about that of course as these things can take time to get over but wondering whether his ex has anything to do with it is pretty much null and void and useless. I think you'd be better off trying to focus on having fun with your friends and your studies etc... Worrying about the reasons why is not going to bring him back to you.

[Zammo]

I know you're right chinadoll but I just want to understand how someone can say those things and mean them. Or was our whole relationship just one big farse? I really hope not.

[China Doll]

He probably meant them at the time and then changed his mind. It happens. Or maybe he was just stringing you along in which case he's not the person you thought he was anyway. Either way, attempting to understand someone elses mind when you don't have them to ask for clarification is a waste of your energy and dwelling on the negative will make you feel worse. Try and focus on the positive aspects of your life.

[B00]

She's right ya know.

Forget it, it's not worth dwelling on, and will send you round the twait if you try.

You were together, now you arent- crap happens i'm afraid.

[B00]

twait?

Meant twist.

[jd_1984]

Boo - Brutal but true!

[katekoala]

completly agree with china doll - he may have just changed his mind. horrid for you, but it happens. he may have thought he felt strongly for you - but them seeing his ex, realised that feelings for her were stronger.

unfortunately, when are the dumpee, you will never find a satisfactory answer for why it happened. you will question & analyse all his actions and words - BUT - whats the point now? hes gone - made it quite clear that he's fickle (not that thats a sin, we've all been there !)

pick yourself up and go meet someone who deserves you !

HUGS

[woofgang]

You are worth better, move on.

[boxtops]

He probably thought he meant them at the time he said them - then found he didn't. Be glad he had the gumption to tell you, and not just to string you along while he was seeing someone else. It hurts at the moment, but why it happened isn't really important - it's over, you need to draw a line under it and stop fretting about it. You may never find out - and letting it get to you isn't going to help you to move on. Enjoy being you for now!