40th birthday do dilema

[tiggerblue10]

A friend of mine who I've know nearly all my life has invited me to her 40th birthday party in March. The trouble is she's having it in Tunbridge Well's which is over 20 miles from me and I don't really want to drive back on my own in the middle of the night and she has said that guests of friend are not invited due to numbers being tight so I have to go on my own. The party is being held in a hotel so I could get the train there and book a room but its £95 per night which I don't really want to pay. To be honest all I want to do is go and come back and not spend a night away from Lt Tiggs. Either that or not go at all.

I don't know what to do. Anyone got any advice?

[murraymints]

don't go ! A good friend wuuld be aware of the practical difficulties and arrange another more intimate celebration closer to home for her pals !

[ummmm]

If I really wanted to go I'd drive...

[milly143]

Why don;t you want to drive back?

[tiggerblue10]

I guess so Murrey. She lives near Tunbridge Wells which is why she's having it there.

I hate driving long distances at the best of times Ummmm.

[ummmm]

It's only 20 miles....That won't take long, especially at night.

[murraymints]

ummmmm, presumably she will be partaking of a beverage or two..... not a good idea to even think about driving.

[ummmm]

She mentioned driving in her OP...not everyone drinks.

[yogi-bear]

I know your friend has said that guests of friends are not invited, tiggs, but cant you take Lt tiggs and get a babysitter for the little one and drive home afterwards/ arrange to stay at local guest house a bit cheaper than the hotel?

If not Option 2 is drive yourself, which you've said that you're not too keen on.

Option 3 is cabbing it, which will be quite pricey, but you get home afterwards.

Option 4 is to not go at all.

[annie0000]

Personally i'd not go.

If numbers are that tight then let her get on with it. If I was organising a party then I'd want my friends to be there so would make arrangements so that they could reasonably attend.

Asking someone to come on their own when they have a young baby and expecting them to travel and holding it in a venue where the rooms are expensive to me is not considering others.

I do bear a grudge! lol

[tiggerblue10]

Sorry about that. Lt Tiggs was crying so I had to see to him. He's unwell at the moment.

Also I've just checked the AA route planner and found out that its just over 34 miles away as opposed to 20. And that doesn't include the 4 miles to get to Croydon from where I live.

http://www.theaa.com/...EET%7C558446%7C139457

[tiggerblue10]

Thats exactly what I was thinking Annie.

[murraymints]

tigger...stay at home with little'un that's your priority !! Friends will wait for a more opportune time and understand your situation.

[annie0000]

Sorry tiggs - might sound a bit harsh, I don't know what kind of friend she has been over the years, but if it was me holding the party then I would choose a venue that was big enough for everyone to attend, even if it was somewhere cheaper, or I'd make allowances for those who are "out of town" to either bring a partner or have somewhere to stay. Presumable if she is 40 then a number of her friends could be married/have partners and young families. I would enjoy myself more hiring a big hall and having them all there and/or having a girls night out with my close friends at a later date if you want to go and get drunk!

[annie0000]

p.s. hope the little one is okay x

[yogi-bear]

I find it a bit odd tiggs that your friend has not allowed partners/wives/hubby's/friend etc tobe allowed to come with you, hence my post that Lt tiggs ( thought that was the other half not the little 'un....well it's still early and i had a late night, eh?.......lol ) go with you, if ok with your friend.

Personally i would'nt go as to the reasons other good folk have given you. x

[mccfluff]

have you looked to see if there is a travel lodge or something similar nearby that you could stay in?

[tiggerblue10]

I know Annie. She assumed I was going with another friend of ours but the other friend lives much nearer to her. If I go with this other friend I still have a further 20 miles to get home from hers if I leave my car at her place.

[tiggerblue10]

I think I'm not going to go. Seems too much hassle and my priorities lie with Lt Tiggs. I'm going back to work in March so its bad enough I won't get to see him much in the week let alone at the weekend.

[murraymints]

Happy Mothering Tiggs ! Made absolutelythe right decision.