Is it okay to not like PDA's?

[extra1234]

When I am out with my boyfriend in a group of friends, I prefer acting like we are just friends and chat to the rest of the group because I am a very shy, awkward and self concious person, however he says it makes him feel bad about himself as its as if im embarassed to be with him. I understand that and I feel bad about making him feel this way however now he says i have to change or we have to break up. I don't know if i can change as its just the way I am but every time we go out he tells me how annoying I am and i know its because im hurting him but I dont know what to do. Ive explained it doesnt mean i dont like him but he says its embarassing for him and makes him feel bad about himself.

[boxtops]

I've never heard the abbrevation PDA! Your boyfriend sounds quite insecure about you, but I do understand the way he feels - however many couples go out to events with friends and never speak to each other much because they are talking to the others. You don't have to be wrapped round each other all evening to demonstrate that you are a couple - but I don't understand why some public signs with your BF make you feel self-conscious. The only way you will get round this is to give it a go - but what's making him embarrassed? Do your friends already know that you are a couple? what do the other couples in your group do, which your BF would like you do in public?

[rowanwitch]

I come from a family that don't do touchie feelie...my ex husband didn't either.... its a hard thing to learn but I do wonder why he needs it so badly,,, i hope it isn't becauuse his friend are making comments about you being 'unaffectionate' in other ways. If so he needs to spend a bit less time with his friends.

[tigwig]

Why doesnt he make the moves when he knows you are shy with it? If he put his arm around you first then surely it it would be easy to do the same back? I think you need to have another chat about it. I hate PDA's by the way! Nothing wrong with a quick cuddle or peck but there's nothing worse than seeing a couple snogging the faces off each other in a pub for ages and ages that is!

[NOX]

The thing is whilst I agree it's wrong for him to expect you to change and be all nicey nicey about him being publicly affectionate, you are by contrast forcing him to act in a manner which is not natural to him by being standoffish. I think the thing is that it depends on how far you both take things- if he's mauling you to death in public then I can see you might be uncomfortable, on the other hand if you resent him putting his arm around you then you are being unusually cold too. I think you need to actively discuss how you could find some ground you're both comfortable with because I would be very uncomfotable if I couldn't put my arm around my gf or give her a kiss in public for fear she'd recoil or look uncomfortable and in many ways I can see where he is coming from in having a problem.

[JackDanielsU]

Its a bit of as jumble...you say youre shy and awkward, yet you will happily chat away to the rest of the group - whereas Id have thought having a partner would have made it easier to mix and talk to other people.

noone is saying that when you go out, you have to be all over each other, but at least acknowledge him...what do other couples in your friends do?

Really think if you love him, youd spend quality time with each other, and knock the group thing on the head for a bit