What would you do?

[Notveryhappy]

A good friend of mine is HIV positive. She has been for 3 years as her ex boyfriend was a druggy behind her back and bisexual. A sad story really

I have always supported her in this situation.

We haven't spoken for a few months due to a stupid misunderstanding and partyly the reason below:-

She came to visit me just before Xmas and me and her new boyfriend, (Well she's been with him 3 years) got talking on a night out.

He was saying how he wanted kids, but that my friend hasn't yet got pregnant. I said well why would she as she uses condoms. To which he replied, 'we have never used condoms, as i'm allergic to them'!!

My friend always said she used protection in order to proect the boyfriend from the disease. He doesn't even know she has it and she's totally lied about using condoms throughout their relationship. There is no need for him to lie as he is non the wiser about her condition and it was just a general conversation.

I think this is bang out of order and have totally dropped my respect for her since.

I would never open my mouth as this isn't for me to ruin lives in a big way, but that is what she is doing to her current partner. Surely this is illegal. If he does have it, he will need drugs for it surely.

The worst thing is he's such a nice lad, only 23 and works really hard for the family and her son that isn't even his.

I could never say anything, but what would you do?

[Notveryhappy]

When I confronted her about it, she went bright red, stuttered and tried to deny it!!

[ummmm]

Didn't a model in France get prosecuted recently for having unprotected sex and being HIV positive...

[joggerjayne]

Agreed.

Tell her she MUST tell him.

If he dumps her because she has HIV, then he's not worth keeping anyway.

If he dumps her because she misled him, then that's understandable.

But hopefully, they can work it out, and start being sensible.

[tiggerblue10]

http://en.wikipedia.o...l_transmission_of_HIV

[Notveryhappy]

'If it were any of my business ... which it isn't'

I have gathered this, which is why i HAVENT said anything.

Just wondered what others would do.

I have told her to tell him on many occasions, but she won't.

[joggerjayne]

You might feel a bit bad if you did nothing, and then he got infected and died.

Your friend would no doubt be on her next victim (sorry, I mean "boyfriend") by then.

[Notveryhappy]

Please read my whole post and see that i 'wouldn't say anything'

Was just wondering as it's such a hard situation.

[joggerjayne]

Problem is, NVH ... you say ...

"I would never open my mouth as this isn't for me to ruin lives"

It isn't opening your mouth that will ruin lives.

It's NOT opening your mouth.

Not opening your mouth would pretty much ruin the boyfriend's life if he died !

[tamborine]

Supply morning-after pills and impress on her that her offspring may be born handicapped.

[Sqad]

<<<<<A good friend of mine is HIV positive.<<<<

One must assume that you have good evidence for this?

If this IS the case, then he is also probably HIV+..........bit late now eh?

Difficult:
However he must be told and I would "bite the bullet" and ask him if he felt that he ought to be tested and if he enquires as to why, then I would spill the beans.

[Notveryhappy]

Zebadee, i totally understand what you're saying and haven't spoken to her much since because of it.

It would ruin so many peoples life if i said something and that's not something i could live with, although on the flip side, it's hard knowing that his life is in danger and he more than likely already has the diease. I must stay out of it.

[supersuezy24]

Tell her if she does not tell him that you will!!!
This guy is completely in the dark about the HIV and needs to know that he is at risk immediately!!!
If i was in this situation I would tell him immediately!!!

[AB Editor]

Also, isn't knowingly giving another human being HIV considered GBH?

[jackthehat]

Tell him.
If it costs you her friendship, content yourself with the thought that you may just have saved (or prolonged) the lives of many others............

[pussnboots]

Trouble with your situation is that you are between the devil and the deep blue sea. If you tell him then your friend will blame you, if you don't tell him and he finds out you knew about it all along then he will blame you. This lad needs to know, his health is in danger. I feel sorry you have been put in this situation, but if I were you I would tell him.

[ummmm]

Yes Ed...and she is likely to go to prison if she infects him.