:o(

[dinkleboo]

My partner and myself have been through some rough patches, more rough than smooth, I have come to the conclusion that the bad is outweighing the good, I want a family life, he wants that but also wants to go away all the time playing in a band in other countries, also he does athletics every single evening and doesnt actually sit down with me till around 9-10pm...I would never stop anyone from doing anything, and have asked many a time for compromise, I get it for a week or 2 then it all goes back to the way it was. I have felt lonely in the relationship, I spend a lot of time on my own, We made an agreement that the running would be toned down, only for me to find out that he has replaced it with something else, the band...he says he cant help who he is and wants to succeed in something? The thing that really angers me, is that he doesnt want me doing anything, He has threatened me that if I were to go away for a weekend with my friends he would leave me???!!! Made threats against me if I were to do anything with another man when I have gone out for the evening with my friends which was never an option!, yet he wants to do as he pleases, leaving me alone all the time, he cant see what he is doing wrong and is blaming me for all the arguements. Yes it is healthy to have other interests outside of the relationship, but when you let it take over your life and wont make room for compromise something is wrong.....I dont understand what is going on? I dont even know why I have posted on here, maybe im venting....I just hate double standards and feel im being treated like a fool

[dinkleboo]

I have 2 from a previous relationship, he talks about us having one together???

[snags]

He is being extremely selfish and showing no respect for you or the relationship. If he won't change and wants to do his own thing, dump him.

[david51058]

He's a control freak. Leave him

[dinkleboo]

Ive actually told him its over, I want to share my life with someone, not have them running off and fulfilling there dreams as he puts it....

[mazie]

It's the fact that he wants and expects to do what he wants but denies you the same option dinkle. how long have you been together?

[DTCwordfan]

I have two words to summarise his treatment of you and two for your action

(i) control freak
(ii) walk now!

[merciasounds]

Don't waste any more time on him love, dump him and his double standards. Like you say, there's nothing wrong with having an interest outside the relationship, indeed, that's healthy, BUT not at the exclusion of everything else. Why should you be second, even third best? Get rid and start afresh - find somebody who wants to be with you and puts you first. Good luck!!

[milly143]

I heard something once that seems to fit here:

Never make someone a priority when you are only their option.

[dinkleboo]

I just wanted to know if I was being unreasonable, deep down I know im not.....we want different things....Ive told him to keep away from me now, the thing that upsets me, is that he says, he is going to find it hard leaving me alone...but is prepared give it a go for things that will amount to nothing...thanks for your answers even though they have started the waterworks, I know what I have to stick to

[dinkleboo]

weve been together 3 and a half years

[snags]

Aside from your OH doing pretty much what he pleases, what's also worrying is that he won't let you do the same. Someone who threatens that they'll leave you if you won't do what they want is bad news... it will only get worse imo...

[mazie]

That's the point I was making snags, he doesn't want dinkle to go out in case she does anything with a man, whatever that means.

[dinkleboo]

Thanks, im sticking to my guns, its finished....as I have said, I want to share my life with somebody, and thats what I aim to do, I dont really have the time for hobbies with the children and the house and my job, would be happy to just have a normal family life!!!

[mazie]

You have a family dinkle. Good luck with your future x