advice needed on funeral please :)

[bednobs]

hiya, although i may give he impression i can't make a decision on my own, this truly isn't the case - just need some other opinions please. My i am organising the funeral for my son who only lived a few hours. Whan my daughter died last year, we didn't invite anyone to the funeral, it was just the three of us. However, this feels slightl different, as both sets of his grandparents actually met him (whereas my daughter was stillborn, and not seen by anyone else after her birth)
My husband would like to invite the grandparents (plus auntie and cousin who also met him) but i'm not sure really
i know the answer is to do what's right for us, but we both think that's a different thing, what do we do?

[tamborine]

funerals dont usually have invitations; people are informed & turn up if they wish.

Take comfort in the extra support and remember they are grieving too. It's sad enough for you and other's want to show you their love - let them.

[boxtops]

I think I would let those people know that the funeral arrangements, then the choice whether to attend or not is theirs. You are right - I am sure they feel different having met William, and known him even for such a short time ♥

[albaqwerty]

They, too, need to say farewell to him.

I understand it's a hugely private moment for you and your OH.

Lean on each other now and in the coming days, weeks and months xxxxx

[China Doll]

Could you maybe do something where a service has them there but at the actual burial or cremation it is just you and your husband?

[bednobs]

i don't think so - the hospital is organising the funeral and they do the service at the cemetery. Although as a thought, perhaps they could come to the chapel at the cemetery and we could just go to the graveside on our own

[karenmac60]

I would agree with CD - allow them to join you for some part of the proceedings and say their goodbyes, but keep a part of it for just you, Mr B and William. x

[China Doll]

That's a good idea. I think it's nice and proper that they want to be involved and they met William so I think they should be. BUt I wouldn't want them there the whole time either and would want a moment in private with my child and husband/partner too. I hope you get a compromise that suits both you and Mr bednobs.

[albaqwerty]

My son's pal was a private church family service and the burial was for people to pay their respects.

It is your and your OH's time for farewell, so I think you both should have your wishes respected, whichever you decide.

[anneasquith]

hi bednobs. i can understand you and oh would prefer williams funeral as heathers was. but , as the relatives had the privelege to meet william , i can understand them wanting to say goodbye, i do believe whatever you both decide, no one will take offence,,,, i know you will both make the right decision for you all.... take care anne.

[Ratty2E]

I think his grandparents at least should be given the opportunity to say their goodbyes to him and i'm sure they would want to be there to support you too. Obviously the ultimate decision is yours in the end but if I were his grandparent I would be grateful to be given the choice.

[LoftyLottie]

Bednobs, I have been away and was not aware of your loss. I am so very sorry and send you my very sincere thoughts at this sad time.

Bless you and Mr Bednobs.

Lottie xx

[chrissa1]

I think the grandparents being there would give you both some support, especially as they met your baby son. However, do what is best for you.

I am so sorry for your loss. Chrissa x

[welshlibranr]

Personally, I would ask them along to say goodbye to William, after all, they did meet him, and are grieving for him, and for you and your husband for your loss, but it is your choice..........Take Care.......

[Mamyalynne]

I agree with the majority, as these relatives met little William, it would be nice for them to say bye to him too, whatever you decide will be right .

Take care ♥

[islasmum]

I would let the grandparents know the funeral arrangements, then leave it up to them I expect that they would want to say goodbye to your son as well, but you must do what you think is best.
Many sympathies x

[sattty]

really sory for your loss but personally i would let them come and have closure in their own way. It's does be hard on all the family and they show it in different ways but maybe the support of your family being their will help you both.

[tastymorsel]

I am devastasted for your loss.I don't visit here every day and I was only just wondering how your pregnancy was progressing when I saw this. My very sincere condolences.

[joannie10]

my friend lost her twin sons and they had the grandparents at the little chapel then just the two of them went to the graveside with their babies. Maybe you want to just do what feels right on the day but if you have made the decision you want to be yourselves at the graveside let the others know this in advance. I am so sorry for your loss x

[joko]

i think you should allow whoever wants to come. if you dont really mind, you dont want anyone to feel left out or excluded