My man's so scruffy

[Pythia]

He's a darling but he wears horrible scruffy clothes all day (I work from home, he doesn't work, so I see him off & on all day). He's happy to dress in clean, presentable clothes when we go anywhere, and looks lovely then, but if it's just ME who sees him, he can't be bothered. I've tried talking to him about it, and explaining that it's me who takes the most interest in how he looks, not other people. I've tried flattering him when he's well-dressed. I've tried buying him clothes. But day after day, there he is in the same scruffy t-shirt. The same one. Every day [clenched teeth]. I don't need him to dress like a model, just not like a tramp.

Anyone got any suggestions? Please?

[yeannow]

My wife says the same of me.............Train station manager by day , vagrant by night.......its good to be scruffy , we are only adults when e have to be Pythia.

[cazzz1975]

he is dressing for comfort when he is at home, he probably feels that you love him already so he doesnt need to be dressed up and conscience around you

[China Doll]

I work in an office all day so have to look relatively smart. The first thing I do when I get home is put my PJ's on. I'm always very happy to see the man hostage but I'm not going to sit around looking smart to watch come dine with me.

[NoMercy]

You should see my uncle Barry. He doesn't even look human.

[Pythia]

And if I dress like a slob? That's ok too? Never change my clothes, never try to look nice for my partner? Just get tarted up to go out to attract attention from other people? Somehow I don't think he'd like it. He's judgmental enough of other people who 'let themselves go'.

[slinky.kate]

keep throwing his clothes into the washing machine and if he says anything just say'but you had them on yesterday'

[fliptheswitch]

As long as he's clean, then it shouldn't worry you too much. You say he wears the same t-shirt every single day... does it get washed? If so, then let him be. If not, I would have a major problem with this.
He makes an effort when you go out, so it's not as if he's a slob. He obviously just likes to feel comfty. If he dressed smartly all the time, then you wouldn't notice the difference when you go out.

[NoMercy]

Before I do, Triggs, please note that Bazza and I are not GENETICALLY linked!

[Ankou]

like china doll, nuffink finer than going home, losing the suit and tie, and sitting on the sofa in me y fronts eating crisps and a few topics.

[NoMercy]

I agree Ankou and China. I only wear my "slops" at home. No point creasing your nice clothes by lounging around on the sofa.

[Noraq]

damn..ya beat me to it slinky kate!! and snap china doll....shower and PJs as soon as I get in the door....and slob for the evening....most evenings. =)

[China Doll]

'And if I dress like a slob? That's ok too?'

^^^ Of course, if that's what you want to do.

Never change my clothes, never try to look nice for my partner?

^^^ Again, yes, if that's what you want to do.

You're supposed to dress for yourself and your own comfort, not for someone else. The man hostage gets dressed everday (in casual clothes), on days I don't have to go anywhere, you'll be hard pressed to get me out of my PJ, slips and dressing gown. I think out of the two of us, I'm probably the more scruffy on 'off' days.

[rowanwitch]

Home from work...freshen up change into either casual skirt and clean tee or if walking.... combats
I would only slob around in night clothes if too ill to get dressed.... when weather gets better might wear cropped pants but always clean ones (I do a lot of washing and ironing)

[starone]

Sounds like "Woman in a Dressing Gown".

[Rodge2]

Try wearing your oldest clothes in your off time like he does Pythia, and see if he starts to complain. If so, point made.

[Euphemia]

I've been trying for over 30 years to get my OH to dress smartly but I now accept it's a lost cause!

[Maydup]

I'm pleased he tidies up to go out but like others have said, I think he should be able to slob about when he's at home.

But if the same old t-shirt is really getting you down and you can't stall it in the washing routine more tahn a day or two, perhaps you can "move it on" somehow? Give the seams a little tug or accidentally dot it with bleach?

[hc4361]

If you can't relax and be comfy in your own home, where can you?
As long as he is clean and his hygiene is good, no problem.