Do I tell my daughter-in-law that my son has been cheating on her?

[Nancy-Jane]

This is honestly one of the worst times of my life right now, I can't put into words how disappointed I am in my son. He and his lovely wife (and when I say lovely, the girl really is so sweet) have been married for over a year and half and she is 25 weeks pregnant with identical twin girls. But I discovered recently that my son has been seeing another woman behind his wife's back, a woman who he met when he was working in another country and that he has been seeing her since July 2009 which was five months before he married his wife. I couldn't believe it when I found out, I instantly confronted him about it and he admitted it was true and that he was sorry (which is no use now). He said he was going to stop seeing the other woman and that his wife need never find out. Of course I found this utterly ridiculous and I am now in turmoil over what to do, do I tell this woman who is so in love with my son that he has betrayed her in the ultimate way? Please help.

[cazzz1975]

I wouldnt tell her.

[mike11111]

Until things take a turn for the worse, which hopefully they will not, you keep your mouth firmly shut!

[27-steps]

To be honest nancy-jane it is always better when the complete truth is told as early as possible,otherwise the hole just gets deeper.

[notasyoungasiwas]

It's a difficult one because if she does find out and asks you if you knew, what do you say - she may feel betrayed by you also. Best to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he keeps his promise to stop seeing the other woman. Fingers crossed for you and his poor wife.

[Old_Geezer]

Really not advisable. It's their life, you may get cast as the bad guy splitting up their good relationship. Besides who is to say he isn't going to change his ways ? Let her find out, if she finds out, in her own time. Don't interfere.

[rsvp]

stay out of it.

[craft1948]

Probably depends on whether you want to see your son and grandchildren again.............

[ladyalex]

Keep out of it.

[mike11111]

"It's a difficult one...". Not to my mind it isn't.

[notasyoungasiwas]

Good for you mike !

'good relationship' Old_Geezer, he's been cheating on his wife since before they were married !

[Old_Geezer]

I'm unsure that stops it being a good relationship: until the time it comes out into the open. Ask the wife if she thinks she is in a good relationship, see what she says. And you can ask him as well if you like, see what he says.

[lankeela]

Its not like he committed murder and you want to turn him in to the police - its really none of your business and it will only cause a rift between you and him and if they split up it will be your fault. If she does find out anyway then it won't be your fault, and if she doesn't you could have split them up for no reason. Keep out of it if you want to keep your family together.

[notasyoungasiwas]

I can't ask them I don't know them.
If cheating on your wife before you even marry her is a good relationship, then what's a bad one???

[mike11111]

So you are thinking of making your heavily-pregnant DIL, whom you clearly adore, bitterly unhappy. Nag your son, if need be, but leave her alone.

[ladybirder]

If it were my son I would tell him to stop seeing the other woman immediately or I will tell his wife. That threat alone will hopefully make him see sense. I bet you could strangle him.

[chrissa1]

I agree with Mike11111. If he was my son I'd give him a very large piece of my mind, stopping short of murder but I wouldn't break her heart.

[Sheridan6956]

What a rubbish situation, if I were your daughter-in-law I'd want to know but I understand what a predicament you are in.

[LoftyLottie]

Say what you like to your son, but under no circumstances should you say anything to your daughter in law. She won't thank you for it and what good will it do. I can understand your disappointment but it is not your place to tell her under any circumstances.

[ELVIS68]

Stay out of it, he knows how you feel about it, leave it at that

[Jemisa]

If I was your D.I.L I wouldn't want to know. This poor girl is pregnant with his babies for gods sake, The shock could be fatal for them.
If your son is going to ditch this other woman perhaps things can get back to normal. (Whatever normal is!) Keep an eye on him.

BUT! & its a big BUT. Can he be trusted?

Jem