Taking care of one's appearance to retain the spark in a relationship

[dave50]

I sometimes see couples where one of them obviously takes care of themselves by dressing smart and keeping slim and active but their partner is overweight and seems not to be bothered what they look like. Does anyone think that the ones who aren't bothered are risking their partner straying? If they cant be bothered to make an effort for their other half then surely they are asking for trouble. Yes I know it shouldnt matter etc but it does and we like to see our partners make an effort, surely it shows they care.

[China Doll]

I feel I've made an effort if I've remembered to brush my hair of a morning.

[LoftyLottie]

Exactly China. OH and I are a couple of real scruffs when we are at home. We both scrub up well though.

Seeing as both of us make no effort for each other whatsoever I can't see a problem.

What you see is what you get!!

[B00]

I wore a dress t'other day. Mr Boo nearly collapsed in shock.

[Ankou]

oh dear b00, was it his ?

[LoftyLottie]

I don't possess one BOO!

[Ankou]

in relation to the op, sometimes an image change cannot be helped, either through childbirth, age, health related issues or medication. i wouldnt look at someone in the street and judge them to have 'let themself go'. it could be a myriad of things.

to do so would make you nearly as shallow as a cheaitng partner.

[China Doll]

I like that LL, 'we both scrub up well'... that sounds lke us too lol

I once forgot to put a bra on in the morning... true story :-/

[pips1]

I have always made an effort, people comment on how I look all the time, honestly! I still got left though for a right fat controlling bi**h and I'm not even a nasty or unfeeling person, I cared deeply for my family and my ex even said he had never met such a nice person as me so there you go, takes all sorts!

[LoftyLottie]

I wouldn't dream of putting makeup on at home. I wear very little of it anyway.

I haven't yet had a shower today or looked in the mirror. What an admission!!!!

[LoftyLottie]

If someone knocked on the door right now, I would run and hide!!!

[pa___ul3]

it can work both ways though dave, we'll happily be in our scruff around each other and that can make it better for me when she does get dolled up! It's nice to have think 'ooof!' now and again, surely if you're going for the works 24/7 then that can get a bit samey. Although I may not be the best judge because my lass looks fit as hell in her scruffy pj's and no makeup!

[Ankou]

mrs kou can wear absolutely nothing and still be attractive.

[pips1]

How lovely pa___ul3, that's the right attitude. I would love to have a guy like you.

[dave50]

Yes I agree if both aren't bothered about how they look or both make the effort then everyone's happy. It's when one does and the other doesn't care when problems start i would have thought.

[LoftyLottie]

Slim, active and smart isn't always what is found to be attractive though. Different things attract different people.

I can think of quite a few slim smart people who have lost their partners to people who might be considered scruffy and overweight. Attraction really isn't all about looks.

[LoftyLottie]

(Unless you are Joe Luke!!)

[Sqad]

Dear oh! dear!...how did I guess that our female ABers placed smartness and cleanliness as low priority?

dave.....the straying of a partner is basically one of sexual disharmony,but appearance comes a close second.

[LoftyLottie]

Hey, Sqad. Who's talking about cleanliness. I am about to have a shower which I do on a daily basis.

Scruffiness has nothing to do with cleanliness!!!!!!

[boxtops]

Dave, I have never dressed to please my other half, ever. I dress for me, sometimes it's dossy, sometimes it's smart. I have to dress so-so for work, and I like it when OH says I look nice, but I wouldn't change if he said I didn't.

China - I was in the building society this morning when I realised I hadn't brushed my hair.... I did clean my teeth, though.

[LoftyLottie]

Boxtops, I would agree. I have never dressed to please my other half either and he certainly doesn't dress to please me.

Fortunately though he seems to find jeans and T shirts and no make up attractive and I like scruffy (not dirty!) men - so no problems.