Difficult Situation..

[EmmaLou11]

Hi all, I'm new on here & just need some words of comfort really :-( will try to keep it brief - my boyfriend left me back in June after 6yrs together, we were engaged, lived together & trying for a baby - we were over the moon when I became pregnant in Feb as I had a miscarriage at 5 months last year. (Baba is due next Friday) when he decided to leave he swore he would be as involved as possible throughout the pregnancy and would 100% be involved in baba's life. Sadly it has not turned out that way, since June I've heard from him probably 3/4 times! The past 4 months have been a nightmare - I have tried my best to stay strong for baby and of course when bab arrives I know everything will be put into perspective! But at the moment I'm so heartbroken and let down by him :-( ive tried my best to stay positive and i even moved house last month to be closer to family, but the excitement of being pregnant with my 1st baby has completely gone out the window. The last time he contacted me he told me he wants a fresh start and wants nothing to do with me or anybody 'associated' with me (I presume by this he means baby) I don't understand how somebody could turn out to be so bitter :-( it's heartbreaking. I've gone over it in my head so many times and even thought the reason for his behaviour could be because he has met somebody else..but still don't understand why this would make him bitter towards me and want no involvement?

He has a child from a previous relationship and is a great dad so it's completely floored me knowing he wants no involvement in this baby's life :-( I'm realistic in that if somebody isn't happy in a relationship they have every right to leave BUT his choice to cut all contact with me has left me so confused and upset especially since the baby was planned?! I wish I knew what I could do get him to communicate with me but it's like he has 'switched off' I don't know what I can do? I am still in contact with his mum and she can't explain his behaviour either. I could really do with some words of comfort, if anybody has been in a similar situation or knows somebody who has been through the same? Baby is due in 6 days and I'm so scared to do this on my own....

Thanks so much all x

[tenrec]

Sorry to hear that Emma Lou. You sound like a very strong person. You have been through such a lot and managed to stay strong. I hope other people on hear will be able to give you some good advice. Best wishes.

[rov1100]

It says something about his character that he broke up with his previous fiancee even though he had a child with her. The same has happened again. It sounds like he doesn't want to face the responsibility of a family and to settle down. It looks like he will only want to see the child at a distance without getting too involved. Too young and immature by the sound of it.

[karenmac60]

I've not been in your position Emma, but I have been a single mum. In some ways it's really hard, but in others it is so much more rewarding than any other relationship you will ever have. You and your child will have an unbreakable bond for the rest of your lives - something your ex will not have. Men will come and go, but your child is forever and that love is unconditional. Keep remembering that through the hard times and good luck to you and your baby xxx

[johnk]

Well said Karen. This man is not responsible enough to bring up a child and luckily you found out early. Do you have any family or friend who can help through the birth? The Yanks have a word for a stand in but I can't remember what it is but they are there to help when the going gets hard. Forget the ex except financially, make sure he takes financial responsibility.
Best of luck, when you get baba in your arms it will be BRILLIANT!
Do keep us informed, we all feel for you.