You either find a solution that suits you both or there will be a permanent problem. People hold different views. IMO a marriage ceremony is an irrelevance and I understand your partner's POV. What he says is perfectly true, you both have commitments that a simple piece of paper can not hope to come to the same level as. But if for you this is important then by definition it is important, so talk it over, Seems to me that if you both really cared about the relationship then both of you would be prepared to humour the other since this is so trivial. But if neither of you are prepared to do so, and both make a fuss, then maybe the problem is insurmountable. My advice is to assume that you both are likely to come to your senses at some point and reach a decision. Would seem a shame to break up over something so trivial as a ceremony. Leave your bruised ego to one side, talk about the real plans for your life and see if they match. Then worry about the 'nice but irrelevant' stuff afterwards.