Having a child early into your relationship

[MissCommando]

I was just reading about a z list 'celebrity' couple who have recently had a baby. The female became pregnant early into their relationship. Readers are commenting that's what happens when you don't get to know someone properly and that they were stupid.

I've only ever had 2 relationships lol, I was with my 1st boyfriend for 18 months and I met my husband at work and fell pregnant after 3 months. We've been together for 6 and a half years now. I spent more time with my husband in those 3 months, we were together almost 24/7 than I did with my boyfriend of 18 months.

Having been there myself, I would never judge someone for having a child early into a relationship. Only you, yourself know how you feel about that person and if it's right. I find people are very judgmental.

Are you judgmental in this regard?

[China Doll]

I wouldn't say judgemental but I wouldn't think it's a particularly sensible thing to do, I certainly wouldn't want to get pregnant early in to a relationship. However accidents happen, and sometimes things work out, also some people claim they 'just know', so I suspect like anything, it depends on the situation and the couple involved.

How is your puppy?

[tinkerbell23]

Eh ... I would never judge anyone missC...

I think the likelyhood is that a baby so early on might be difficult because you possibly dont know each other as well as you could ....but saying that all relationships are different so you cant really call it lol.

Had a friend who was pregnant after 3 months- theyre together but its troublesome and they shouldnt be IMO, also have a friend who planned a baby after 6years who also broke up sadly.

Xxxx

[Jemisa]

I met Married & gave birth all within 10 months...

jem

[tinkerbell23]

Wow jem!!!!! And no regrets... I think thats fantastic xx

[ummmm]

I think it might be easier in some cases.

People who have been together for years before having a baby may notice the upset it brings more than a couple that don't really know any different.

[EvianBaby]

I would actually say I am a bit judgmental about this but on the other hand you never know what life is going to throw at you. My parents had a shot gun wedding but ended up having 7 kids together and their marriage lasted 25 years.

But I do think it's foolish to let it happen so soon into a relationship. To me it seems that people treat having kids as a lesser commitment to marriage (not saying you should be married to have kids) but you hear people who jump into bed, get preggers and then say their not ready to get married. Besides which, I'd want to have a good few years of just having fun with my partner before we made life changing decisions.

[ladybirder]

Ah Miss C. I left a message on your shaking puppy thread wondering how your pup is now?

[Mamyalynne]

Not at all judgemental.

Similar to Jem, I met, married and gave birth within a year - went on to have a second child and only death parted us after 35 years together.

[2sp_]

I only really know one couple who had a baby within a year of meeting, and their relationship is a total disaster. He moved in after she found out she was pregnant and I'm sure she has a revolving door as he's moved out and back in several times since.

If they didn't have their child (and another one on the way - words fail me), they wouldn't be together.

They didn't take time to get to know each other properly before they put all this extra pressure on the relationship. They are both very fiery, and both have been violent. Not a great environment to bring up children.

In fact, she is the reason I've no longer 2shortplanks.

But, I'm sure for every story like this, there will be a successful one.

[beso]

My granddaughter was born when her mum was still at school. She completed her education with a degree and is working in a great job.

Now her daughter is eight years old, my daughter's career is powering while her colleagues are contemplating putting their careers on hold for the opportunity of motherhood.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy makin' other plans. How you deal with what comes along makes you human.

[beso]

And my granddaughter's parents celebrated their tenth anniversary last year.

[2sp_]

Lovely to hear a success story, beso.

Shows that every relationship is different, and you can never tell how things will work out.

You must be very proud of the things your daughter has achieved. Couldn't have been easy for her at times.

[erin-x]

Personally, I wouldn't set out for it to happen like so many other girls my age but if it did I wouldn't feel bad about it.

A girl I went to primary school with had her second child last year to a different guy than the first and she has just kicked him out. She said he didn't pull his weight but he does so much more than her for both children! That is what I don't like...

[WELSHYORKIE]

Pardon me for butting in ladies, similar to mamyalynne, Sylvia and I met, married and had our first child after 14 months. Death parted us after 36 years married.

[anneasquith]

i do know a young couple, where they got pregnant within 3 weeks of meeting, and are still together.

[tamborine]

pregnancy forced my marriage, best move ever ;)

[WELSHYORKIE]

Cunning plan, tambo, or just mishap?

[tamborine]

was a good RC then welshy

[tinkerbell23]

My parents were unmarried- they tried to force them but they said no and married when i was 3yo...

They are mid 40s and have had their life back since mid 30s really. Money to go hols and nice things- some of their friends have kids in primary school so theres alot to be said for it i guess.

I joke that if/when i have kids my friends kids will be bloody baby sitting lol theyl prob think tinks jnrs gran is picking them up and it will be old tinks ha x

[pizza]

MMM I was similar jem cept met married gave birth and went back home within 12 months.
Lifes funny but I always say never have regrets for what you have done because it makes us the person we are today.
My little girls 30 in dec and 4 kids of her own now,