Feel Terrible

[Connemmara]

Phone rang there - looked at Caller Display - knew who it was - bedroom voicemail doesn't work. Went downstairs to listen to message - another friend has invited to me a barbeque (whatebber whatebber) -

Oh My Gawd - without questioning - she is picking me up 3.30 tomorrow - love this friend to bits but can't be @rsed (you can't *** a bullshitter)

Don't want to go as it means leaving Mr Harv behind. Feel terrible about being so unsociable.

Was at this friend's house on Tuesday past and her family congregated ie lovely family - left quite hastily and to the annoyance of friend - when they started barbeque.

1. I was too hot myself

2. Too long to leave Mr Harv

3. Need I justify myself.

Do appreciate the welcomeness - but believe it or not I am not a sociable person (inside me).

I am all a "howlin" - just "nervous" -

I know yous will say ring her back and say No - but I did "snub" her on Tuesday - can't do it again. For funicular sake.

[Connemmara]

Sorry, I will answer myself - "I need to be more grateful - that I have friends" - Will go tomorrow - "but dreading it". Conne

[DJHawkes]

no, don't go, the heat will be too much for you, I couldn't tolerate a barbe que in this weather, tell her you can only eat salads in this weather. what is it with people and barbeques in sweltering heat, they are all crazy.

[Barmaid]

If she's a true mate, you can phone her up and say "look Sheila, I'm really not up to it at the moment, its really lovely of you to ask and I really appreciate it; but I'd just like some time on my own because I am planning to x y z with Harv. How about you pop round next week for supper?". As a mate, she'll accept and understand.

[Connemmara]

Thanks Barmaid and DJ - she knows "I am always on my own" but I like it that way. Sorry for being an ungrateful b ***. No, will go, she has been inviting me to parties for nigh on 7 years now. Gawd I do feel terrible. Anybody else on this site - would love an opportunity to be so invited. I get at least 2 wedding invitations a year - cost me a bloody fortune re wedding presents - no, however, it is nice being nice.

Was reminded past Tuesday that I didn't go to her daughter's wedding some 6 years ago and now I am going to another friend's (who is riddled with cancer) her son's wedding in January next year (I am done) justifying myself.

Conne

[Barmaid]

It's not ungrateful if you don't want to do something.

Tbh, I wouldn't dress it up with my closest mates. I'd just phone and "lovely idea, love, but I'm tired and I'm not feeling sociable" - as they would do with me.

[wolf63]

I almost never go out on nights out these days ~ it took me years to realise that I was only going to keep other people happy.

I have never been to a BBQ and I don't think that I am missing anything.

I have had many friends over the year but only one real friend ~ she knows me very well. She has been there for me when my mental health has scared off the rest of my 'friends'.

If she is a true friend tell her what you have told us - she will understand.

conne - I know that you are deaf, if you are totally deaf I would have thought that a gathering such as this would be difficult for you to understand what is being said. My dad used to say that his hearing aid was rubbish - I think that was because it was usually sitting on the coffee table in the lounge when he was at his club with his mates.

[Connemmara]

Thanks all, Wolfie - you hit it on the nail - people don't realise how profoundly deaf I am cos I am so brilliant at the lip-reading therefore it is a double effort (ie being funny and sociable). xx

[sherrardk]

Life's too short - if you don't want to go, don't go. Say you're sorry for being unsociable but that you would be bad company at the moment and you wouldn't want to spoil everyone's evening.

[boxtops]

Conne, you don't have to go - just remind her how you had to leave on Tuesday because it was too hot, be honest and say you don't enjoy BBQs.

As for the wedding thing - we've said before, you really don't have to spend so much on presents (for anyone).....

[Connemmara]

No harm - her "kids ie 30 years downwards to 23) just love me regaling me stories of my being deaf. I do get embarrassed. Sorry!!!!

[craft1948]

Personally I think you're quite mad.................

[Connemmara]

As in what Craft 1948 - what do you really mean.

[craft1948]

Well in just reading the majority of your threads................maybe it's just me but I think you're loopy.

[Connemmara]

define loopy Craft