Desperate For Advice ??

[Evemarie]

Hello, i dont know what else to do i feel like killing myself!
My x boyfriend is in remand for stalking, assault and damage to my car, does anyone know what he will be looking at.?
Im still in love with him even after everything he has done to me i feel heartbroken. I cannot stop crying, i cant eat or focus on anything else it's killing me.. I feel like not giving my evidence just so he can be free again.
why do i feel this way after he has hurt me so much..?
He has done worser things to me which i havent mentioned in my statement for example stabbing me with a pen, threatening me with knives and once he used a baseball bat on my backside... I could go on forever explaining more and more abuse.. I still dont know why i love him, but i cant help it! Im really scared and i need him back because he was my best friend as well its so hard... I need help.?

[DJHawkes]

You don't love him. If you did and if he loved you then you would have a happy loving relationship that would mean he was not your ex and you hadn't been abused to the point of physical assault.

[leahbee]

The only advice you need now is to drop this vile person . He is not your friend and he will probably end up causing you serious harm. He will not change.

[andy-hughes]

This is not love.

This is control - this man is taking advantage of your sub-zero self-worth, and has convinced you that you cannot live without his violent controlling of you as a person.

The truth is, you can, and you should.

The pain you feel is real, the emotion behind it is not, and if you take this chance to make a break from him you can find someone who loves you and respects you as you are, not because he can bend you to his will a slowly destroy you in the process.

Walk away - fight the pain - start living like a mature woman, not someone who cannot see that this is only going to end in serious tears.

[pixie373]

There is no way you need this man. You've just got so used to having him in your head 24 hours a day (and not in a good way) that you're feeling lost without him. Give yourself 3 months to sort out what you want. In that time, don't see him at all. Catch up with all your other friends and family and throw yourself into your job/hobbies. I would rarely say there is no hope with a relationship, but this is dangerous and likely to get worse. Treat it as the harmful addiction it is. Good luck x

[woofgang]

yes, yes you can help it. Go to your doctor, tell the doctor what is happening and how you feel and get some emotional and psychological help.

[MustangLady]

Please Please speak with someone professionally dealing with this sort of thing. Samaritans, victim support, womens aid or similar. He does not love you, he does not respect you....if he did he would not be treating you this way. You deserve so much more. Please take advice and get him out your life. Please speak with friends and family tell them what has been happening and tell then everything. Good luck.

[Evemarie]

Thankyou for your advice, im starting to feel slightly better after reading the comments. Things are making more sense to me, i cant let him run my life anymore its time to make a change before it's to late.

[Mamyalynne]

Quite right Evemarie, this is your life and you deserve better - some love and affection for a start.

[Evemarie]

He is now sending people around my house shouting names at my window, i dont know who these people are im never going to get away from it!

[pixie373]

Keep yourself safe and ignore it. He'll give up eventually. If you think you're in danger, ring the police.

[DJHawkes]

you mean he is able to bully and intimidate other people to commit crimes on his behalf? He's a thug, if he is on remand then the law is on your side, ring the police and get them to come and arrest these people. They must really be terrified of this guy if he is able to make them commit a crime whilst he is locked up.

[Dee Sa]

walk away from this guy, he is not going to change and you know this, give your evidence tell the truth and as you walk out of court think how lucky you are to be without him. I would also get a restraining order so he cannot come within 5 miles of you. Start taking photos of his friends that are hurling abuse outside your home and hand them to the police. You do not need this person in your life if you do the abuse will start all over again, hopefully he will go to jail and that will give you time to come to your senses.

[jd_1984]

You need to find the strength to move on from this manipulator. It sounds impossible, I realise, but bullies like this ruin lives..!! You do not love him, you just cant see life without him despite the abuse he causes. He certainly doesnt love you. GOOD LUCK

[Purple_Popple]

Unless someone had been in this situation they cannot fathom put why after all the pain and hurt we still love.. is called unconditional love. We feel that we have the power to change someone's behaviour so we put up with it over and over again because we love them. Then in the end you are so fixated on making your partner happy you forget about what you want and what makes you happy so you are in effect brain washed by this constant control that you can't see beyond. But you know that it's not right and you know you have to end this is having the strength to end it for your own sanity please

[nannybooby]

oh sweetheart , you are in a bad place but it could be a whole lot worse if you stick with him. Do you really miss him or just someone there? Get some proffessiinal help as suggested earlier this man DOES NOT love you . Godd luck xxx

[Trefoil1]

Hot cakes and drop him come rto mind.

I have been in this stiuation and took ages to realise he was no saint. Get shut fast, he will never change, maybe get medical help to assist with coping.

Give it time and think about your own needs. You are better than this and you are Number One in your life.