Is Grumpiness And Bad Manners Nature Or Nurture?

[ClaryS]

I am so sick of bad mannered people :-P There is no need for it -are they naturally horrible ungrateful rude people or is it because of upbringing or something bad that's happened to them?. Today I had two extremes. Firstly I was being a total idiot in a car park due to being mega stressed -like shaking and feeling sick - because of a dental appointment and this lovely guy just waited patiently gave me a big smile when I mouthed 'sorry' it didn't cost him a thing to do that. When I got back home after lunch I decided to take the car to a local walk and go pick some blackberries. Coming out of the car park I noticed two elderly people with walking sticks struggling to cross the road so I stopped the car and waved them across. I didn't even get a dirty look let alone eye contact or a thank you -I was so annoyed I revved the engine as I passed them I hope they wet their pants -oh that's horrible I know but honestly why can't people just be nice?

[sherrardk]

But you were grumpy and bad mannered when you revved your car and not at all nice. So you tell us, nature or nature?

[anneasquith]

id say the two elderly people may have been so surprised at you kindness they forgot to say thankyou, nice gesture from you though,

[DJHawkes]

chill out, don't let it bother you, tomorrow is another day

[Peter Pedant]

yah - I was that man -didja notice the dog ?

I shuffle around on a stick - surprisingly bad today - and when I give the thumbs up, the dog's neck is jerked upwards
but he''s used to it
and if I use the other arm (the one with the stick) then I'll fall over.


the dentist - did he take all your teeth out ? - with pliers ?


Tell you what - if I dont give the thumbs up, [dog's head jerked up, but hell it is only a dog ] I worry about them running over me, half way across

Also rude old people -as I was shuffling along someone almost walked into me. Eighty year old woman - you know look as tho they havent eaten for twenty years, no brain and can move really fast like 20 mph.
I very nearly said: look I'm the one with the stick, I think the idea is that you miss me - geddit ?

I did have the stick if she turned nasty.

[browntrout]

There's a world of difference between not being nice and being nasty. about the same as the difference between not being nasty and being nice.

[ClaryS]

oops think I've probably posted this in the wrong section. I was hoping for some sensible debate but seemed to have strayed into the twilight zone. Thank you anneasquith for your reply though however surprised I've been with a kindness I've never forgotten to smile and say thank you, but I appreciate your input. Sherrardk everyone, I'm sure including your good self, have the capacity to be bad mannered and grumpy from time to time. The problem is a lot of people these days seem to have grumpy intolerant attitude as their default mode which is a shame. I'd had a very bad day following problems earlier in the week with a dentist but realise that being grumpy and ill-mannered just brings yourself down to their level so thank you for pointing that out.

[DJHawkes]

out of curiosity, which topic are we supposed to post threads like this?

[ClaryS]

DJHawkes a very good question. I thought about body and soul under relationships but that didn't quite fit. Maybe society and culture would have been better, people and places? Anyway it was a bit of a Rant so maybe there should be a section for 'Rants'. I will take your advice and chill out, tomorrow is another day and if you dwell on these things then they have won haven't they? x

[Peter Pedant]

yeah - there should be the crazy thread
and the whiney thread

and THEN the crazy whiney thread......

[gness]

Perhaps the elderly people were, like you, not having an easy week...or simply preoccupied with trying to cross a road while not being very fit and able....being revved at won't have done them much good.
I recall being told by the guy in the petrol station to not look so miserable and smile... it was on the morning my baby granddaughter died and I was on my way to the hospital....so perhaps we should give the benefit of the doubt and not be as grumpy as we judge others to be....... if we are able.... ☺

[chrissa1]

They could have been concentrating on crossing the road without tripping up, ClaryS.

[chrissa1]

Snap, gness.

[woofgang]

If those old folk were concentrating on getting across the road safely maybe they din't have any extra thought process left to realise that you had waved them across...maybe for some reason they were as stressed as you were before the dentist. I agree that their behaviour wasn't ideal but it wasn't an extreme of bad manners by any stretch of the imagination. I am guessing that because you were having a bad day it made you more sensitive. True kindness IMO is not just making the kind gesture but its doing it without hope or expectation of being noticed or rewarded. revving your engine as they passed is just plain childish.

[ClaryS]

oh gness I'm so sorry about your grand-daughter. Thank you for your wise words.

[ClaryS]

yes woofgang I was very childish I realise that. Think I've had a bad day and needed to vent. Think I may get acquainted with Captain Morgan for a short while and then take to my bed x

[sherrardk]

ClaryS - it just seemed like a big deal because you have had a bad week. I bet if you try and think of specific incidents of bad manners and grumpiness that you have experienced over the last couple of weeks, you wouldn't be able to.

[anneasquith]

I do seriously think, we should ask ed for a ' rant' topic, pop in, do your rant, then carry on with our day, :)