My Bf And I Spoke Last Night About Breaking Up But Neither Of Us Know Whether We Should Or Not.

[Nay37]

We were laying in bed and I asked him if he loves me. He said maybe, don't know (it is his first proper relationship) don't know how to feel. (He is not one for showing emotions). He then said things haven't been right for a while and I replied you've felt that too? Then we discussed the girl he met in Tallin and he had spark with her which triggered off these feelings that we were not right together. I said to him that he'd only spent a day with this girl and half the time he was drunk and things wouldn't have been the same in the cold light of day, he said I was probably right and said that he is very confused and doesn't know how he feels about us and where things are going. He told me the conversation he had with his best friend who said if its not right then end it cos you are obviously not making her happy, don't lead her on hoping that you two have a future together if its not making either of you happy. Neither of us know what to do for the best cos if we break up, I will forever be thinking what if we did make one more go of it and somehow it turned out good. Are we being too hasty if we end it now. I suggested relationship counselling or separate temporarily (we live together) to see if we feel any different either way in a few weeks or so. What do you think we should do.

[lcg]

by reading all your other posts.....why are you still with him? your relationship has been rubbish for a while and it seems to me you are terrified of being alone and all the 'what if's?' that come along after. you are plainly not happy and have been thinking this for a while. i would have called it a day a long time ago.

[Old_Geezer]

You are doing the right thing talking about it.

I think you two need to make a decision as to whether the relationship is worth working on or not. Drifting along making no effort isn't going to help, it will just keep you both dissatisfied.

[VHG]

When you find THE person then you KNOW it, you don't have to keeping thinking about it.

I have been married to my second wife for about 24 years, but I cant imagine my life without her.

If anything happened to her my life would collapse.

If anyone tried to hurt her I would risk my life to save her.

THAT is what loving someone is about, not lying in bed wondering if you should stay together, and IF you love each other.

Break up with him and go out and find somebody you REALLY care about.

p.s. The first woman I married I did not love. Our relationship was ok but nothing more (bit like yours). We drifted into marriage and had two children but finished up having 10 miserable years together before divorcing.

Don't go down that route.

When you met THE person you will know, you wont have to keep asking yourself.

[woofgang]

You were in bed with him and you don't know if he really loves you??????????

[islasmum]

My mother told me something about this when I was younger, and I think that it is very true - it's not a case of "can you bear to live with him" when it really should be "can you bear to live without him".

it's worked for me.

[beso]

Good advice so far. You both need to move on or at best you will wonder what else might have been.

[mizfiesta]

Pixie I'm inclined to agree to be honest. A text takes seconds to send. I replied to his text and he's asked me if I'm busy tomorrow night. I'm not busy but I'm not going to agree to see him. I'll make an excuse. My gut instinct is telling me not to agree to see him tomorrow night. If he likes me he'll ask me out another time. I hope I'm not being overly obtuse.

[Sqad]

mizzy....you have posted on the wrong thread.

[boxtops]

^ I think that might be on the wrong thread?

[mizfiesta]

So I have! Sorry folks! x